Beads of Courage

I haven't shared on my blog, but if you're following me on social media you may have picked up on the fact that my cousin's daughter is fighting for her life. Baby Ella was born with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). In her short life she's had multiple surgeries and has spent more time in the hospital than she has at home. She is a fighter, and has the best - most amazing - parents any child could have. It's been hard being so far away unable to do anything but pray (even if prayer is probably the best thing at this point to do). Mom and I have come close to booking flights down a couple of times as it looked like we were going to lose Ella Rae...

...but then Ella pulls through by the grace of God! It's been an incredible roller coaster of emotions, and I'm just the cousin who sees the family once in a blue moon! I can only imagine what my cousin, her husband, and their families are going through.

This past week, though, my cousin's world and mine collided when Ella received a "bead of courage" from the Iditarod Trail. Since 2011, The Iditarod has partnered with Beads of Courage to have mushers, veterinarians, and the teacher on the trail carry beads that are then sent to children nationally who are facing medical hurdles. The beads are collected by the child and used to tell their story of how they've overcome the obstacles thrown in their path. The beads are sent with a card signed by the person who carried it, with a little note of encouragement. Some also carry an extra glass bead that is later auctioned off by the program to fund their work.

This week my cousin sent me two photos with a message saying that she knew I'd probably enjoy knowing about the gift Ella'd gotten this week. Ella got a bead from Iditarod musher Becca Moore from when she ran in 2016 (the last time she's run). Becca is married to Iditarod Veteran Ramey Smyth who is signed up to run again this year. When Becca was carrying Ella's bead she was also carrying something a little more - she was pregnant with their daughter!

I don't know if I'm just wishing it, but I kinda feel like that was God's way of saying that even though "all I'm doing" is praying, that I am with my California family during this fight. It is a special connection that really made me stop and smile. Ella still has a long battle ahead of her, and she's slow and steady and I believe will win this "race". She is Ella strong. Please, if you so believe, pray for little Ella and her mom and dad and big brother Eli. Pray for wisdom and skill for the doctors, wisdom and peace for her family, and strength for baby Ella. Thank you to all who have encouraged and prayed and loved on them.

Thank you and our best to Ella! #beadstrong

— Beads of Courage (@beadsofcourage) August 9, 2018

It's not just April Fools day

Gpa with his pal Willie (taken a few years back).

Today was my grandpa's 89th birthday. My Gpa has been one of my heroes my entire life. My first 5 years were spent in his house while my parents worked. He (and my Gma and Auntie Marge) helped shape my formative years. We did garage projects - I was a fan of crushing the cans for recycle, and painting ANYthing, we went to Costco - my gpa's favorite store EVER, and he's the reason I got involved with the Iditarod.

He loves his box wine, John Wayne (dad now has his John Wayne Memorabilia collection), and his friends and family. He's quick with a pun - seriously that's all we Reitter's have in our "big bag of jokes" - or a funny story from days gone by. He's a big fan of Blue Bloods and Walker Texas Ranger (says Arrow is my generations version of that show... um... no. Ha ha). Don't get in between him and his ice cream (or any sweets) he will not be denied!

It's hard not to look back on my childhood without seeing a lot of time with Gpa. Some of my favorite memories are when we went on adventures in the motor-home (though the time that I slammed my thumb in the door and he told me we'd have to cut it off to get the door to open was traumatic! LOL). He and Gma went on all sorts of adventures outside of Alaska in their Recreational Vehicle, and I was always so jealous. I get my trip planning skills from him, as while going through the memory albums recently I found his itinerary list... it looks identical to some of mine. I can't deny we're related, that's for sure.

My grandfather held many different jobs in his life, farmer, Navy Signalman... he worked for Aerojet (including some stuff for the space program!). When they moved to Alaska he was a Servepro man. Spent many years working for them, and I remember his van well. Lime Green with Sammy on the side. I loved that van. It had the best smell to it - it was definitely a grandpa smell, but not something gross like old man smell. It just smelled like servepro, cigar, and motoroil. I miss that smell.

Gpa was my go to for Iditarod everything. He gave me the book "Danger the Dog Yard Cat" when I was 5 and I was hooked. He was so excited when I took both jobs with the Seavey's (Gpa is a fan of all the teams). He had a coat he wore to the Iditarod every year - with patches from each race he attended. I have that jacket now. I love it. It's so Grandpa.

He's now in Oregon with my Uncle Bob. He needed the change. It's weird to think he isn't in the house that I spent so many hours of my childhood in, but I know he's where he needs to be. And he is just a phone call away. I hear he went for a walk and had a great bday meal. No doubt finished with ice cream.

Happy Birthday Gpa, you are one of the best ever. <3 br="" love="" you="">

It's time for saying Goodbye...

The house a few summers back before Gma's stroke. Their yard always
looked like something out of Sunset Magazine.

The last few days the Muppets' song "Saying Goodbye" has run through my mind. It typically does when someone close to me leaves for other parts of the world. This weekend we moved my Grandfather out of his home of over 40 years down to my uncle's house in Oregon. Okay, well, we packed up his house and said goodbye and he flew to Oregon with my uncle.

It was a very quick up and back for us. While my grandfather for the last year or so had been packing things and giving them to family, his health took a very quick turn and we needed to move quickly. In the last 4-6 months things began to get away from him, he wasn't able to remember basic tasks. My uncle and cousin had been concerned, but it wasn't until my cousin's last visit and then my dad and my last visit that the family realized we needed to move NOW. So my uncle flew up and we all headed to gpa's house to help him.

Packing up a person's life is not an easy task. Splitting them up between 3 sons and 2 granddaughters went easier than we thought, but it was just getting all of the stuff packed up (and, first, found!) that was hard. So many memories in one spot - not just the physical ones we held, but the ones those items and the walls around us brought up. We had a lot of laughs, and it was just good to have some fun one last time. The last time we were all together was when my grandmother passed, so while seeing Gpa overwhelmed was difficult we were still in a much happier frame of mind this time around.

Saturday we took a break from packing up and had some of the family friends over. The Gallaghers have been friends with my grandparents since before I was born. Jim and Karen help every year with Iditarod, and Karen's mom Pete was friends with my grandmother forEVER. Jim and Karen's daughter Christine grew up with my cousin and she would baby sit me on occasion. They're more family than just friends. We also had the Frolichs over - they are buying the house from my grandfather. They live across the street and Mathieu was my first best friend. We grew up together - even after my family moved to Kenai, every summer I was up with my grandparents and we spent every waking hour causing chaos in the neighborhood. I am so happy that the house is going to someone we know and that I know will treasure it for what it is!

The "Framily" together at the house one last time.

Sunday we tried to get Gpa to go to church, but the emotions of the weekend took their tole and he decided to stay home. Mom, Dad and I went to Gpa's church anyway as we'd given them the heads up that Gpa was leaving and they had things for us to give him. Joel Engle is one of the pastors at Changepoint and we've known him pretty much since my parents have been Christians - he used to be a Christian singer who toured the country doing ministry, and now he's pastoring. It's a small world. We met him when he was still starting out and so I was excited to get to hear him preach this weekend! The message was good, and then we headed out for one last family meal at Texas Roadhouse before we all went our separate ways.

Now we're back home and I'm going through the boxes of the memories I collected. 4 boxes of photo albums with memories that go back generations, more Iditarod memories, the different knick knacks that lined the shelves... a few cookbooks... I just have to find a way to properly display or store them all.

Dad called down to Gpa tonight, and he's doing well. Dad says he sounds better than he has in months. I think this change is what Gpa needed, but man... it feels weird for the rest of us.

You seem angry, are you okay?

I've gotten that comment a lot in the last year or so - closer to 18 months, now that I think of it. 2013 sucked on a lot of levels, but the biggest issue was one that I'm pretty much forbidden from talking about (by both the court system, apparently, as well as my parents). But, at the same time, I feel it's my right to let it out. So without naming names or going into too much detail, here it goes. I've been wanting to talk about this for a long time.


Late in 2012 the cops came to our door looking for my younger sibling. Considering his track record, they pulled him in for questioning. My parents had been completely in the dark as to what he'd been up to - the sneaking out of the house at all hours of the night that was keeping me up wasn't a big enough red flag. His angry outbursts and threats to harm me and others around him wasn't a big enough red flag. They were stunned when they found out what he was being charged with.

I was just shocked with how I was going to be treated.

I became the fall person. I had absolutely nothing to do with the crimes he committed. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. But I became the "reason behind it". Because I didn't "love him enough" as his older sister. That I went away to college and was not around enough "forced" him to act out. This excuse came to light only after the courts didn't buy his "my parents never taught me right from wrong" crap. Gotta hand it to his lawyer, he tried everything to save his client's neck. To hell with the truth or the people it hurt.

His crimes are of the unspeakable kind, but because he was "under age" when they started, they ignored that they continued after he hit 18. The courts basically bent over backwards to protect HIM and not the victims or people around him. They slapped him on the wrist, and put him on probation mandating that he had to live with us. At the time I was running my business out of the house - my "family portrait studio" was no longer SAFE to be there.

We are a small town, news spread. They weren't rumors, they were true. Not only was he (rightfully) vilified, but so were my parents... and me. I lost ALL of my summer and fall business. I'm still trying to rebuild. I am still convinced that I will never be out from under it. Our last name is forever going to be tied to his crimes. And that pissed me off.

Still does.

Family and friends took sides. A lot of people that are friends with my parents bought into the sob story the boy told - and because they aren't allowed to know exactly what he did, and it was whitewashed by my family, I became though of as the unloving, selfish sister. That I wasn't ignoring what he did, or what he continued to do (the sneaking out continued until finally my parents couldn't turn a blind eye and turned him in to his PO), was the biggest sin a person could do. I should just forgive and forget was the message I got over and over. Nevermind he was STILL DOING IT... nevermind that he threatened me daily, coming at me with his fists several times, and spent several afternoons telling my mother in detail how he imagined he was going to beat me until I was bloodied and dead.

It was so bad that several times I ran to a friend's house just to get away. I stupidly always came back once dad came to the door with a hurt puppy expression promising things would change. They didn't until the cops once again came calling because someone broke the court mandated curfew and had no explanation for it.

He's been gone about 9 months now. There's talk that he'll be out soonish. I'm not looking forward to it. At this point I do not trust what I've been told as what it all means for me. EVERY time I was promised that I would be safe, that he would not be a threat, it was untrue. Every time something new came to light or he got into more trouble I became the fall person. I was either declared a liar, "mistaken", or it was my fault because I was "acting like a victim".

I don't trust that anything will be different because I haven't been shown anything that suggests that it will. His therapists demand that I talk to him - I refuse. So he has to send letters. They are pretty much textbook apologies. They are just words he's basically been fed, because they're words I've never heard him use. EVER. And it's all laced with the whole "maybe if you loved me better" theme that he played out all through his trials. There is nothing sincere about them. So I do not respond.

Yes, I think this is my right. No, I don't care to hear you tell me otherwise. Because you don't know the story, and because we have to protect the predator, you never will.

A Fairytale Wedding

Most beautiful wedding, EVER!

It was a whirlwind trip to Cali and back for my cousin's wedding, but it was so worth it. I am so thankful that I got to share in Jillian and Matt's day. It was such an amazing testimony to God's love, and the love they share.

California was HOT and we were between the two forest fires, so the first day was basically unbearable. It was 102 in the shade and we were supposed to decorate my aunt and uncle's yard in preparation for the weekend's festivities, but after about an hour of dusting vintage pieces of silver I was spent and ended up sitting in the shade chugging ice water for the rest of the day.

The day before the wedding I wimped out and stayed at Judy and Gaylord's while the rest of the family headed back over to finish getting ready for Saturday's wedding. During the day the heatwave broke, and it was actually pretty plesant if not still on the hot side. I was bummed that I couldn't help out, had I known it'd only be in the low 90s I'd have sucked it up.

Still, I got to edit quite a few photos from one of my sessions that I shot right before heading down, and I got to watch the wildlife for quite a while in the yard. Judy and Gaylord live in Lake Wildwood which is a gated community and there are tons of deer and turkeys and it's really relaxing. Two does and twin fawns spent the entire day with me and I took a few pictures and video. They're so funny, they eat the birdseed that is on the ground and they won't share so they spend more time fighting one another than they do eating.

The wedding Saturday could not have been more beautiful. Jillian was definitely a pinterest queen while planning her wedding as a lot of the little details looked familiar/similar to what she'd been pinning for the last 6 months or so. It was perfect, and you could tell just how much these two are loved. Uncle Rick built a backyard that is out of something like "Finding Neverland" which it was really noticable once the lights went down and the lights came on. I swear Tinkerbell and her friends were buzzing all around us as the night went on.

The ceremony itself was so Christ centered and just a beautiful testimony to God's faithfulness and love for all of us. Jillian and Matt are such a godly example of how to live life, and I was so very blessed to be part of their day. After the ceremony and family pictures (enter sarcastic yay here, I prefer to be behind the camera) I manned the "photo booth" where guests could come and be a little goofy to celebrate the couple in pictures. I got some great shots of quite a few people before we were all called to the back for dinner and dancing.

The dinner was mexican flavored, and buffet style. It was so good! I am not a fan of chicken tacos, but however they seasoned it, I almost didn't miss the beef. The corn tortillas weren't fried, but they were fantastic as well. Either I was super hungry (true) or it was just really good (or both). Once we all got our fill the tables moved out of the way of the dance floor and the party really started!

View from the tables. So does not do it
justice for how beautiful the night was!

I am not much of a dancer, I just feel too goofy out there, so I people watched. My parents, though, were on the floor most of the night...as was the sib... I've decided he got his dance moves from Forrest Gump. As the group danced the night away, I watched the backyard transform into an enchanted fairyland. The white lights, the crystals, everything was magical. Where their cake and other dessert were they had mini chandeliers that twinkled and I swore Tinkerbell and her friends were having their own parties within them.

Jillian and Matt's first dance was from the movie Aladdin, "A Whole New World." It's been Jillian's song for what seems like FOREVER. After that my cousin Jake's band (Odd Man Out) took over and the dancing really began. Let's just say that the band was AWESOME, and everyone had a fantastic time. The party went well past the 10pm curfew.

After sending Jillian and Matt off with lavender and sparklers. We played designated drivers and finally got back home after midnight. Sunday we woke, went to brunch, and then by noon we were back at Rick and Becca to finish cleaning up after the wedding. I don't think I've ever spent so much time at their house - and that includes last year when I stayed at their house! Once that was finished Mom, Dad, Duane and I went to the Empire Mine to wander around. It was too hot to stay out for very long and we decided to go to Bridgeport to cool off.

Empire Mine's Mansion - I could live in that.

Dad, I don't think, has been to Bridgeport ever, and if he has - it was when he was a kid. Needless to say he took the scenic route. I was so sick to my stomach by the time we got to the river. We waded in what little water there was and it was refreshing. We stayed for about an hour and then headed home. It was a busy but fun day.

Monday I flew home. I was so not ready to come back to Alaska - don't get me wrong I don't want to ever live anywhere else (except MAYBE in a Disney Park lol), but I love my family! I've concluded Oakland's being cheaper to fly out of does not make it better. I don't want to ever visit Oakland or that airport again! Yuck! (What should I expect from RAIDER country, right?)

Tuesday I spent about an hour with Haille Rae before driving home. I don't think it's jetlag, but I'm so exhausted. It was a whirlwind trip and it's catching up with me! Thankfully I've just been hanging at home with the dogs (who were all happy I came home) and editing photos.

Last weekend in June - just what I needed!

After a not so fantastic Thursday I was sooooooo ready to get out of dodge for a while. I packed up my car for the weekend, left my computer at home, and headed for Anchorage. I planned on spending the night at my gparents and then we were going to head for the Iditaord BBQ for Volunteers and musher sign up on Saturday (blog about that coming later this week).
The drive up was pretty uneventful, and I made good time even with a pitstop in Girdwood where I ran into my friend Paul who was headed down to Kenai for the weekend. Go figure. After we exchanged the "stay away from these sections of anchorage/once you hit the sterling hwy it won't be as crowded" information we took off in either direction.

The drive was uneventful until I took one of the curves to find a ton of parked cars in an area you don't normally see a large congregation - there were sheep on the side of the road. So I joined the growing group of parked cars and grabbed the camera and giant lens. I spend at least a half hour shooting photos until the crowd grew to a size that made the older of the two sheep very aggitated. So I moved on and headed to the "big city".

Met up with my friend Angie for dinner at Ling and Louies. We both had their Mongolian Beef and it was super tender and yummy. I want to go again and again and again! After catching up I was off to visit the gparents. Pretty much an uneventful evening that went way too late.

After not getting enough sleep, grandpa asked me to follow him out to Wasilla for the BBQ (as I said, I will blog about that later). A drive that normally takes 40 minutes tops, took close to two hours. We went no more than 40mph on the Glenn Hwy. Not fun.

After the BBQ I headed a little way down the road to Juanita and Haille's where I was going to spend the night. I hadn't seen them since January - very bad, I know - and I was missing the kid something terrible. After getting directions I made a quick drive over and met a giant of a girl! Haille is up to my chest and is only age six! Her first words to me after I commented on her height was "I'm tall enough for EVERYTHING at Disney." Dang it. LOL

We decided to go to the movies that night so off we went, she gave me the wrong directions ("Aunt Toni, I'm SIX, I'm going to make mistakes!") but we finally found the theater. Got our tickets, our soda and popcorn... and she proceeded to spill a full (thankfully small) soda all over the theater stairs. So out we went to get another soda. Back in and sit down. We, of course, saw Brave (review to come later, hopefully), and when the Disney logo came on Haille proudly proclaimed "I've been there." Yes, yes you have.

After the movie it was home for a bit of fun before bed. Sunday we spent at the Park and then DQ before going home. Just spending time with Haille was a joy, even when she put her stinky, sweaty feet in my face, and was a general six year old. She is just so much fun. And so stinkin smart it isn't even funny.

At one point she told me, "You know what, Toni? My gramma spoils me. And my dad spoils me. And my mom spoils me. You need to spoil me more." Gee, thanks kid. LOL

Sunday evening I drove home. Now it's just maintaining until I head down to California for my cousin's wedding next week!



Haille's not a little girl anymore! *tear*

2 months, 3 weeks, 5 days...

Partner's Statue - Disneyland 2011 - Photo by
Photography by Antonia

Since I am so horrible at keeping my blogs up to date, I figured the sooner I start the pre-trip reporting for Disney the better. Planning is at a stand still as Disneyland is a shorter timeframe to book things that Walt Disney World. We can't begin to book out until 60 days before we go (which is sooooo far away!) and it's not like Disney World where you can add up to 10 days from the first night of your trip so you can book your entire trip's extras together. It's a call down (or, now, email!) every day at the individual 60 day marks if we want to be one of the firsts to get into whereever it is we want to be in.

So what to do to tide me over? Well, I've been reliving last year's trip for one. Deciding what to do again, what to do different. Reading blogs, trip reports of others, and just keeping busy (the Seavey job helps greatly in that department!). Now it's time to me to start blogging. This place is once again dull. I'm not wanting to get rid of the Iditarod theme just yet, and I'm debating if I go to a Disney theme yet or maybe wait and after this weeked in Seward working and taking pictures I might get a summer sled dog theme going. I'm not sure.

For now, though, I will blog on the plans as they stand so far. They are very rough to non-existant, but I have the cast of characters ready to play out this fantasy, as well as some for sure extras. Tonight, though, I introduce the faces of our family trip.

We will have a total of seven in our group this time around. Two princesses at the age of six will be the stars of the show. This is a blended family trip of sorts, and I feel like an interloper (only reason I'm going is Haille begged).... Anywho...

The Cast of Characters:

I LIKE FLUFFY! - Stitch & Toni 2009 WDW

Tonichelle: Aka your's truly. This will be the fourth trip to the Disneyland parks, and the ninth Disney trip overall (five WDW trips, I believe that means I've "arrived" as a Disney traveller). The family generally defaults to my being the trip planner, I love the "job" as I get to start my Disney magic before everyone else. However this also means I end up driving everyone up the wall with my OCD travel planning, and obsession with all things Disney. I, in turn, get frustrated that no one wants to nail down a plan and then follow it. If that's the biggest complaint we all have, though, then we're doing pretty well, IMO!

When not going crazy with trip planning, I am a professional photographer, and sometime sled dog fanatic (you won't find me on the back of a sled, but I try to be involved with the sport in supportive roles). I'm also an active figure skating fan, and self proclaimed movie buff. Some of my favorite Disney films include Sleeping Beauty, Pirates of the Caribbean, Mary Poppins, and Tangled. Favorite characters include Donald Duck, Stitch, Jack Sparrow, Maleficent, Merryweather, and Chip.

Haille Rae - Nevada City 2011

The Rae: aka Haille Rae. My how time flies, I remember when this kid was just a few days old, with a horrible fro that could not be controlled, and wondering when we'd get to sleep through the night when we started babysitting for her parents. Haille is my "neice" - which means it's an easier title than "my step-cousin's daughter", which is impersonal and does not truly reflect our relationship as it is - and is six years old. Her first Disney trip was last year for her fifth birthday (can you imagine turning FIVE in Disney?!). Disney is my polar opposite, and yet so many say she's a mini-me. I don't see how that is, the child is a girly-girl, she can put together better outfits than I ever could. Last year at Disney she was the one who gave me hair and make-up advice. Gah!

Haille is the reason I'm coming this year. She asked if I would be coming with her when she goes to Disney, and at the time I wasn't sure. Every phone call after that had her telling me that if I had to come because, "Aunt Toni, you know Disney." It wasn't that I didn't want to go, I just wasn't sure I could swing it with my cousin's wedding in California happening a couple weeks before Haille's trip. When I finally said I would - mainly so that someone could fly back home with the child afterwards - that's when the real party started. All of our phone calls have her reminding me that I am coming with her to Disney. Like I could forget! Ha ha! Haille's favorite characters - as far as I know - are: Mickey Mouse, Belle, Ariel, Pluto, and Dale. Her favorite Disney movies, last time I asked anyway, are: The Little Mermaid, Cinderella, Sleeing Beauty, and Beauty and the Beast. When she is Disney'd out and needs a change she enjoys - of all things - The Transformers, Justin Beiber, Hannah Montana, and Taylor Swift (I try not to hold it against her).

Newlyweds @ Disneyland - 2011

The Grandparents: Judy & Gaylord. The ones that make these trips possible. Judy is my aunt, Haille Rae's grandma. Judy has been a part of my life much in the same way I've been in Haille's. I lived with Judy (and Gaylord) while I was in Anchorage going to college (and then working for the Feds). She's more than "just" an Aunt, and I love her - even when we argue. Judy is the reason I am obsessed with Disney travel (though she's come to regret that I think). Gaylord came into the picture a few years ago, and they married last year. They spent their honeymoon in Disney for Haille's fifth birthday (we'd promised the child for four years she was going to go, couldn't back out or postpone!). He was a good sport about it, and is being a good sport (I think) about this year's trip. I'm not sure he knew what he was getting into when he married into the family, but we'll get him Disney trained in no time.

They moved to Northern California last summer, and Haille and I miss them big time. Haille is going to visit for two weeks this summer, which is how this trip started in the first place. Haille equates California with three things - swimming, Memaw, and Disney. She's getting all three this summer. Haille said that the part she's most looking forward to is, "seeing gramma in a swimsuit."

The Trio: Aana, Brandon & Haile Elizabeth. To make it an even bigger family affair, Gaylord's bringing his granddaughter and her parents to Disney as well. One of the coolest parts of Judy and Gaylord's story is they have granddaugthers that are the same age AND have the same first name. Too weird, right?! The girls met for the first time at the wedding, sharing the duties as flower girls. They became fast friends and the hope and plan is that going to Disney together will give the girls a great experience with Haille Rae being the veteran showing Haile Elizabeth as the newbie how Disney is done. I think Judy and Gaylord are most excited to see how the girls respond to Disney and all it has to offer.

I don't know Haile or her parents too well. I only spent a few hours with her mom Aana, and I don't believe her dad came to the wedding. Haile Elizabeth, though, is a doll. So sweet and funny. She and Haille Rae get along well together. Because their names are the same we're going to have to use their middle names to make sure the right one responds! Ha ha! So, it's not that I don't want to give you insight to the rest of the travelling party, I just don't feel comfortable talking about folks I don't really know - or sharing pictures. Haile Elizabeth may make quite a few of the twitter/instagram photos that will be shared through out the trip as I have a feeling the two girls will be inseperable or close to it.

So there's the cast as it stands so far. Seven Disney travellers with all levels of experience. The next part of the pre-trip report will be the plans as they become available. Not that this is compelling blogging or anything, but it's what I've got going on.

This will probably be the last Disney trip I take with this gang for a while. Next year I am going to WDW with the parents and sib (depending on when he goes to bootcamp he'll go or he won't, it's up to him). The following year I go on a Disney Cruise for an early 30th birthday with the bff - this is the longest I've gone without a trip with Erin, and I'm not happy about it, but I will deal. The next promised trip I've made with Haille is when she's 10, and she will experience the Florida Disney experience for the first time - and that may be the next time this travel party gets together.


Next stop? Adding a little bit of EXTRA magic...

California Dreamin'...

So I guess I should blog a little about my trip to California. I apologise in advance if this becomes garbled, incomplete, or otherwise a mess. It's just a few random - possibly vague - thoughts from the trip. Pictures are still being editted and if I think about it later I may share more photos than what I do here, but for now... this is what you get.

The wedding went really well. There was a tad bit of confusion, but for the most part it was good. The two Hailles were so cute as they gripped each other's hand and walked down the aisle. I was worried Haille Rae would stop when the crowd all went "awwwwww" when they got a glimpse of the flower girls but all she did was grip Hailee Elizabeth's hand tighter. They made it down stopped in front of Gaylord and looked up like "okay, now what." I waved them over to their moms and they sat down.

The photography was okay. I wasn't too happy with the rules that teh church gave - but this is a church that has a gay wedding coordinator, no joke, so it was eye opening in lots of ways. I had a lot of stone faced guys to work with, too, so I feel a lot of the posed shots (and there are way too many of those) look more like prison line ups.

Thank God I had the 100-400mm lens because I was standing in the back of the church the entire ceremony. Because when God is invited in (um, WHAT?) the photographer has to stay away. Because God doesn't like photographers (I guess, because that's the only reason I can think of for disallowing it). Apparently photographers are also distracting and noisy. Um, yeah, more so than the kids in the audience, oh, that's right, they had to be quiet or go away too. Whatever. Give me a good ol' Southern Baptist hitchin' and BBQ any day! LOL Lutherans, I tell ya!

Rules aside, Judy looked fab, and it was a happy fun time. The reception was fun. The Hailles spent the entire night on the dance floor. The food was REALLY good.. and I got to see my cousins and aunt and uncle rock it out on the dance floor (and my mom... in her bridesmaid dress... epic). When Billie Jean started playing my mom busted out her Michael Jackson floor moppin moves. Oh dear.

Mom left for home the day after, she needed to be home for Duane's 16th birthday, Jake and Jillian also left that night. I got to spend the next couple of days with my aunt Becca and uncle Rick. I hadn't ever really spent a lot of time with them, especially not as an adult, and I loved my time there. Aunt Becca is so much fun, and Uncle Rick keeps it real. I got to know them in a way I'd never been able to before, and it really put my heart and mind at ease about how the family looks at me. But, those feelings will come at another time in another blog. Let's just say there were a lot of... guarded emotions that are starting to bubble up. Hurt that I didn't realize was as deep as it was has come to teh surface and I'm still fighting to regain control of the emotions.

Needless to say, the foursome of Rick, Becca, Jake and Jillian were a Godsend in so many ways. Even after we made it to Disney.

The day before Disney we took Haille and Juanita on a tour of Nevada City and Grass Valley. I love the old mining town feel of the two, and I took a lot of pictures of my favorite spots. The Mansion at the Empire Mine is my absolute favorite place to photograph. I wish Judy and Gaylord had done some pre-wedding photos there, but alas it was not meant to be. Actually, I kinda wish they'd had the wedding there, too.

The weather was great for walking around, and Haille was surprisingly interested in everything, which was great. I was afraid she'd get bored in a hurry. She loved exploring the Mine, and only got scared when we went down the mine shaft (which they told us they are planning to expand as soon as they can get more funding from somewhere - seeing as how California is broke).

Disney... well... I had a lot of high hopes that were quickly dashed. And it wasn't Uncle Walt's fault. I wish we could have done it differently. Hindsight being what it was. I wish we'd stuck with the plan. I wish we'd taken a break midday like we promised. I wish we'd had more time to do some things, and I wish... well... A dream is a wish your heart makes.

There were magical moments. Seeing Haille the last night dance with Goofy and scratch Pluto's ear is exactly what we had hoped for when we planned the trip. Seeing her dressed up like a princess was magical... and listening to her scream and laugh in delight as we went through teh Matterhorn... and get excited that the same ghost sat with us each time we rode Haunted Mansion was special.

I'd love to take her again. I really would... but I'd want to do it the way I do Disney. With planning. And input. And I don't know.. naps. LOL.

Thank God for my best friend, she helped me through my frustration. We've decided Disneyland is our trip for 2012. Yes, I know I said no more Disney until 2014... but I don't feel that I did Disney right - or at all, even though there are pictures to say otherwise - this last time. I need to go back to Disneyland and really feel the magic and feel Uncle Walt... so August 2012 here we come! (I hope, I gotta get back to nationals that year too).

Jillian came to Disney with us one day - after we, once again, changed plans five hundred times and went to Hollywood for the morning. So we didn't get to do a whole lot with her at Disney, but it was a welcome relief. I love me some cousin time. One of my favorite parts was when we ditched the family and went back to the car so that I could change into dry warm clothes for teh evening. And then we spent a lot of time chatting while we sat holding spots for Fantasmic for the family while they watched the fireworks from the hub.

The next day when everyone went to the beach I met up with my friend Mackenzie at the parks. It was a great day to just get away and we had fun (or, at least I did!). We hit all of the rides I'd missed previously, and then she made sure I saw Aladdin. Which is, by far, the most amazing production I've seen in the parks... aside from Fantasmic in Disney World. It was just wow. Festival of the Lion King at Animal Kingdom comes close, but Aladdin is seamless and reminds me more of Lion King on Broadway in the way they interpret the story.

This was also the final day that the family was all in California, so I said good bye to Mackenzie and met up with the fam for dinner at Goofy's Kitchen. The magic finally hit everyone as Haille spent an amazing 2.5 hours hanging with the characters and having a blast. Goofy's Kitchen tops Chef Mickey's in food AND character interaction. Though, the characters are a bit random (we had Goofy, Pluto, Chip and Dale, Minnie... and Cinderella and the Fairy Godmother. Not sure how that works).

I had the next day all to myself after I moved from the hotel we all stayed at to the Anaheim Plaaza I headed for the park. First stop was the Carnation Cafe (okay, I lied first stop was Donald Duck) where I had my Mickey Waffle. All of a sudden it was DISNEY. I met Oscar who has been there since the park openned. He's the longest working employee Disney has. He autographed my menu and I got my picture with him. LOVED my experience with him. Great guy. Hope to meet him next year.

I spent most of my day taking pictures. I love Disney for that one reason, you can never get enough photographs. I haven't even started editing them all. I spent most of the day at Disneyland, but did pop over to California Adventure to catch another showing of the Aladdin Musical Spectacular. Genie is freaking awesome.

I also took a break and walked over to the Garden Walk and had me some Johnny Rockets. Then it was back to my hotel room where I grabbed my tripod and headed back to the park. I spent the hours before closing taking long exposures of just about everything. Again, haven't even started editing those. Before leaving I did my ritual of going to the partners statue when no one else was there and thanked Uncle Walt. I know, it's totally cheesey, but as I told Haille when she asked who that statue was with Mickey, without Uncle Walt, magic wouldn't exist. He built that park, it was his. I walked in his footsteps, I paid homage to his window... I don't worship the man, but I do admire and look up to him. He inspired this nation, and is one of the last true innovators we've had.


So that's the basic rundown. Pictures will have to come later, I am tired and I have to work in the morning.