It's time for saying Goodbye...

The house a few summers back before Gma's stroke. Their yard always
looked like something out of Sunset Magazine.

The last few days the Muppets' song "Saying Goodbye" has run through my mind. It typically does when someone close to me leaves for other parts of the world. This weekend we moved my Grandfather out of his home of over 40 years down to my uncle's house in Oregon. Okay, well, we packed up his house and said goodbye and he flew to Oregon with my uncle.

It was a very quick up and back for us. While my grandfather for the last year or so had been packing things and giving them to family, his health took a very quick turn and we needed to move quickly. In the last 4-6 months things began to get away from him, he wasn't able to remember basic tasks. My uncle and cousin had been concerned, but it wasn't until my cousin's last visit and then my dad and my last visit that the family realized we needed to move NOW. So my uncle flew up and we all headed to gpa's house to help him.

Packing up a person's life is not an easy task. Splitting them up between 3 sons and 2 granddaughters went easier than we thought, but it was just getting all of the stuff packed up (and, first, found!) that was hard. So many memories in one spot - not just the physical ones we held, but the ones those items and the walls around us brought up. We had a lot of laughs, and it was just good to have some fun one last time. The last time we were all together was when my grandmother passed, so while seeing Gpa overwhelmed was difficult we were still in a much happier frame of mind this time around.

Saturday we took a break from packing up and had some of the family friends over. The Gallaghers have been friends with my grandparents since before I was born. Jim and Karen help every year with Iditarod, and Karen's mom Pete was friends with my grandmother forEVER. Jim and Karen's daughter Christine grew up with my cousin and she would baby sit me on occasion. They're more family than just friends. We also had the Frolichs over - they are buying the house from my grandfather. They live across the street and Mathieu was my first best friend. We grew up together - even after my family moved to Kenai, every summer I was up with my grandparents and we spent every waking hour causing chaos in the neighborhood. I am so happy that the house is going to someone we know and that I know will treasure it for what it is!

The "Framily" together at the house one last time.

Sunday we tried to get Gpa to go to church, but the emotions of the weekend took their tole and he decided to stay home. Mom, Dad and I went to Gpa's church anyway as we'd given them the heads up that Gpa was leaving and they had things for us to give him. Joel Engle is one of the pastors at Changepoint and we've known him pretty much since my parents have been Christians - he used to be a Christian singer who toured the country doing ministry, and now he's pastoring. It's a small world. We met him when he was still starting out and so I was excited to get to hear him preach this weekend! The message was good, and then we headed out for one last family meal at Texas Roadhouse before we all went our separate ways.

Now we're back home and I'm going through the boxes of the memories I collected. 4 boxes of photo albums with memories that go back generations, more Iditarod memories, the different knick knacks that lined the shelves... a few cookbooks... I just have to find a way to properly display or store them all.

Dad called down to Gpa tonight, and he's doing well. Dad says he sounds better than he has in months. I think this change is what Gpa needed, but man... it feels weird for the rest of us.

It's the end of an era, you might say.

So, after nine months, I'm moving out of the house on the River and moving in with my parents? Why? Namely because I don't do well with sharing property with others. Especially when I feel lied to by the property manager and not given (what I consider) the proper support. When the new neighbor moved in I was completely fine with losing space in the laundry room so she could have a closet - but I was not told she was a smoker and would be allowed to smoke in the house. Now my house smells of smoker smell. I hate to break it to ya, but that smell is one of the worst. When I brought this up a week or so later to the property manager he told me to basically suck it up. Nevermind it triggers issues for me. He suggested a smoke eater, but I had to buy it. Um, I don't think so.

Top it off, the owner is selling the property. All this week it looks like I will be dealing with folks walking through my stuff to view the property. So I'm just done. I'm getting griped at by my neighbor because she wants my dog to stop pooping and that I need to plant flowers on my side of the house. I'm just done. I want my space to be just that, mine. Not anyone elses. I don't want to deal with stupid stuff, and I'm wanting to just be left alone.

So, for the time being, we'll just move me into the house I grew up in until we can find something that works. Who knows how long that will be. I hate that I won't be on the river anymore, but honestly I haven't done anything down by the water, so it's not like it's that much different than living blocks away from it.

So, yeah, life is.... UGH... which is what it's basically been since December.

Saturday! Saturday!

I've been silent on my blog lately as I've been packing and working hard to get ready for a move to the Kenai Peninsula. I'm moving to a house I leased on the Kenai River in Soldotna this saturday. I've been stressing out about money and the fact that I do not have a job (still am freaking out about that) but over all I'm pretty excited for the next chapter.

This move is not coming without a lot of regret. I hate that I'm leaving Haille Rae. I know, I know, she's a little kid and she'll survive and I know I have to do this move for me. But i love that little girl. She is very much an important part of my life and the fact that I won't get to see her often just kills me. I've spent many hours crying over this one issue. Over thanksgiving it just broke my heart. All during dinner she was my little buddy. Wouldn't go anywhere or do anything without me, and then when she spent the night she gave me the out of the blue "I love you" moment. Taking her to the movies and having those moments with her were a joy but telling her that I was leaving was hard. I had Judy do it because I just couldn't get out the words (I'm crying about it right now). Haille was fine with it, but honestly I don't think she understands. I won't have a chance to see her before I leave, and that makes the hurt come back full on, but at the same time I honestly don't know how I'd be able to say goodbye.

I'll miss the people at ABT, too. Granted I wasn't full on outgoing or anything, or very active, but I met a lot of wonderful people there - especially the kids I taught. It bums me out that I won't get to see them grow and mature over the years, but I do have facebook and am friends with many of the parents, so I can watch them through that, it's not the same though.

I'll miss being able to order take out from just about any type of restaraunt. I'll miss the no tax, and everything being cheaper...

I'll miss my aunt. We don't always agree, or get along, but we've had a great time together - or at least I have. I know she wants out of here in the worst way, now, but we shared some great memories. She's so happy to have my room back as hers, though, so I guess it's for the best. But wow, I'll miss her.

So I guess I should get back to packing.