Yes. Yes, I am Crazy...

http://www.photographybyantonia.com

I frequent several message boards. Figure Skating - I'm a mod at one of the larger ones, Disney Travel, and until the other day pugs were all on my list. All come with their share of headaches. As a moderator those headaches are daily. The Disney board I am a member of is the easiest one, though people get heated on there about what resort is best and so forth (it's actually teh most sane MB I've ever been a part of). The pug boards I've been on are probably the most... difficult.

You see, there are dog owners and lovers that have very drastic differences in viewpoints on what their dog is and what dogs should be to all people. It's like the Michelle Kwan vs all of skating debates multiplied by a million in terms of hostility.

Rescue is the biggest deal.

Don't get me wrong not only do I support rescue, but all but one of the pugs in our family are rescues. Here in lies the problem. I do not have a dog I "rescued", I bought my dog. From a backyard breeder. Uneducated about such things.

I am to be shamed.

Or am I? I've learned a lot in the last 9 years, not only about the breed but about rescue and backyard breeders, puppy mills, etc. If and when I lose Yuka, I have no clue where I will go as the pug rescue here is rarely in need of adoptees, and I can't limit myself to a waiting list. Respectable breeders are expensive... but we'll cross that bridge when that comes. I'm hoping I still have many years with Yuka left.

But that brings me to the point that had me questioning my sanity. I've left a board in the last few days because I was just tired. I was tired of the bullying that is felt when my views on dogs weren't just questioned but were just "wrong" and therefore I am a horrible person.

Look, the fact of the matter is, I like to have a well trained dog. Yuka can do the basic sit, stay, etc, but what I really appreciate is that she goes outside to do her business 99% of the time. the 1% is only now that she's older and she doesn't always realize she's going (and thankfully someone is normally here most of the day so she can go out regularly). Pugs are trainable, but they're stubborn and set in their ways. Many of the posters that think I'm cruel have more lax of rules. They have areas in their house that they allow their dogs to mess in. This is completely unacceptable to me.

Which led to the reason that I have sworn off these boards from here on out. There was a "bash the selfish" type thread that suggested that those that want to rescue or have young dogs were crazy. I guess if I were to rescue a dog I would be in this crazy group. A younger dog is easier to retrain in the potty department. Considering that my first encounter with rescue was a four year old male pug that hadn't been potty trained and spent the next six years marking and pottying wherever he wanted in teh house. We did our best to keep it from happening but he did it. Sorry, again, I find it unacceptable. He was not a bad dog, he just was so used to not having to go outside that he didn't. He tried, he really did, but at the end of the day he found someplace discreet to go in.

I mentioned my reasons. Told I was wrong. And then got a PM from a member saying she pittied Yuka because when she got "old" I would consider her a throwaway dog and that the poor Anchorage rescue would get a sweet and loving old girl. I left, and I won't be back for this reason.

Yuka is MINE. She has been mine since the day I picked her up in Feb of 2003 when she was five weeks old. I freak if she's out of my sight, I have nightmares of losing her, and now that she's nearly nine years old it terrifies me to think she's become a senior pug and that means I only have a few years left. She's spunky, sassy, and a total brat, and I love her. There are tons of things in her training that if I'd known then what I know now I'd have done it differently. But, I wouldn't trade her for all the puppies in the world.

A dog is mine forever. It doesn't matter if I'm moving - a lot of decisions I made/make is based on if she can be with me or not. It doesn't matter if I were to get married and have kids - she's with me. She's not disposable.

What is disposable is the holier than thou attitude of uber rescues who bully their beliefs on others. I've seen them run off or even scare people from going that route (or even leaving their dogs in a rescue's care when there is no alternative for fear they will be lumped in with all the other irresponsibles... really, military families have enough crap to deal with, show some compassion).

So I'm done. I see that several folks from these boards have visited in the last few days, I'm normally not a fan of people airring their MB dirty laundry, but I don't want people to have the impression that my dog is disposable. Yuka is with me until the day one of us leaves this life for the next.

Religion vs. The Gospel

I found this on another blog. I don't know who the author is, but I like it.

RELIGION: I obey-therefore I’m accepted.
THE GOSPEL: I’m accepted-therefore I obey.

RELIGION: Motivation is based on fear and insecurity.
THE GOSPEL: Motivation is based on grateful joy.

RELIGION: I obey God in order to get things from God.
THE GOSPEL: I obey God to get to God-to delight and resemble Him.

RELIGION: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I am angry at God or my self, since I believe, like Job’s friends that anyone who is good deserves a comfortable life.
THE GOSPEL: When circumstances in my life go wrong, I struggle but I know all my punishment fell on Jesus and that while he may allow this for my training, he will exercise his Fatherly love within my trial.

RELIGION: When I am criticized I am furious or devastated because it is critical that I think of myself as a ‘good person’. Threats to that self-image must be destroyed at all costs.
THE GOSPEL: When I am criticized I struggle, but it is not critical for me to think of myself as a ‘good person.’ My identity is not built on my record or my performance but on God’s love for me in Christ. I can take criticism.

RELIGION: My prayer life consists largely of petition and it only heats up when I am in a time of need. My main purpose in prayer is control of the environment.
THE GOSPEL: My prayer life consists of generous stretches of praise and adoration. My main purpose is fellowship with Him.

RELIGION: My self-view swings between two poles. If and when I am living up to my standards, I feel confident, but then I am prone to be proud and unsympathetic to failing people. If and when I am not living up to standards, I feel insecure and inadequate. I’m not confident. I feel like a failure.
THE GOSPEL: My self-view is not based on a view of my self as a moral achiever. In Christ I am “simul iustus et peccator”—simultaneously sinful and yet accepted in Christ. I am so bad he had to die for me and I am so loved he was glad to die for me. This leads me to deeper and deeper humility and confidence at the same time. Neither swaggering nor sniveling.

RELIGION: My identity and self-worth are based mainly on how hard I work. Or how moral I am, and so I must look down on those I perceive as lazy or immoral. I disdain and feel superior to ‘the other.’
THE GOSPEL: My identity and self-worth are centered on the one who died for His enemies, who was excluded from the city for me. I am saved by sheer grace. So I can’t look down on those who believe or practice something different from me. Only by grace I am what I am. I’ve no inner need to win arguments.

RELIGION: Since I look to my own pedigree or performance for my spiritual acceptability, my heart manufactures idols. It may be my talents, my moral record, my personal discipline, my social status, etc. I absolutely have to have them so they serve as my main hope, meaning, happiness, security, and significance, whatever I may say I believe about God.
THE GOSPEL: I have many good things in my life—family, work, spiritual disciplines, etc. But none of these good things are ultimate things to me. None of them are things I absolutely have to have, so there is a limit to how much anxiety, bitterness, and despondency they can inflict on me when they are threatened and lost.
Sometimes I'm more Religious than Christian... this really spoke to me tonight.

Many familiar faces in line for Iditarod 40.

November 30th marked the deadline to complete and file paperwork to sign up for Iditarod 40. Many of last year's race's key players are back, such as Lance Mackey, Dallas Seavey, and - of course- current Champion John Baker. There are also a few suprises on the list that has the mushing fan community buzzing. If anything, Iditarod 40 will be one to remember.

Mitch Seavey returns after being forced to withdraw due to injury. Martin Buser started last year's race off very well but fell far back in the standings by the finish, he has also thrown his hat in the ring again this year. Perrenial favorites Paul Gebhardt and DeeDee Jonrowe will also be racing. Missing from the list of who's who of the Iditarod is Rick Swenson who - as of December 5 - is not listed on the Official Roster. Sebastian Schnuelle and Hans Gatt are also off the list, the latter having announced his retirement. Schnuelle is reportedly taking a break to spend sometime outside with family and friends.

The surprise of the summer was the return of Jeff King. Jeff made his intentions known when he appeared at the Volunteer picnic at the Wasilla Headquarters and signed up for the race. King did not race in the previous year's race, having stated he was retired. Jeff is running a smaller kennel and group of dogs, according to his comments in the press and online, but he cannot be counted out. This four time champion knows what it takes, and he's had a year to get a fresh perspective.

The other big surprise is the addition of Dan Seavey to the list. Dan ran in the very first Iditarod - and is credited as one of the mushers that helped make it a reality -  Dan is now 74 years old. His best finish was third in that first race. No doubt this is mainly a nod to the race itself. Dan is the only alum of that first race to be coming back. Dan is the father of 2004 Iditarod Champion Mitch Seavey and Grandfather to Yukon Quest Champion and Iditarod Veteran Dallas Seavey. Dan is the patriarch of one of the Iditarod dynasties. It will be exciting to see what he will bring to Iditarod 40.

Entries are still trickling in by mail. As long as the packets are postmarked by November 30. There are 67 names on the official roster. Alaska Dispatch has the list at 69, and they have Rick Swenson among the entrants. Do they know something Iditarod.com doesn't?

Well, so much for that...

It's not that I've been busy, I just haven't felt like blogging. Mainly because, I think, I'm frustrated with everything here and so I just have a little less care than normal. I've just been in a funk lately. I've had some good ideas for a blog that just ended up not going anywhere because of it.

Anyway, it's Christmas time and my family has gone all out here in Kenai. It's insane how much Christmas stuff we have out. I don't remember mom ever decking the halls as much as she has this year! I love it! It feels very much like Christmas (which I was worried about since I was spoiled living with Aunt Judy for the last few years and santa really does throw up all over her house!)

I'm doing a bit of photography (not nearly as much as I would like) but other than that I'm just bumming it here at home. Erin comes in two weeks for Christmas and I cannot wait! I definitely need a besties vacation! :)

so there's a mini update. As I said nothing exciting going on.

30 Days of Song: Day Fourteen

Day 14: Song friends would be surprised you like...

Um, yeah, I like the beat okay?

30 Days of Song: Day Thirteen

Day 13: song that is your guilty pleasure


This is just basically because it gets stuck in my head so easily... and because I already used Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy...

30 Days of Song: Day Twelve

Day 12: Song from a band you hate

Hate is such a strong word. But this is the one that popped in my head, basically because when I hear "band you hate" I immediately think of N*Sync

At least this song was fun to play in band.



30 Days of Song: Day Eleven

Day 11: Song by your favorite band

I've been on a Mercy Me kick lately, so here's one that gets me in the right mood!

30 Days of Song: Day Ten

Day 10: Song that makes you fall asleep

I sleep with music playing all night. I always have. So music just soothes me no matter what it is. Instead of counting sleep I imagine skaters skating to the songs I'm listening to and then I'm out like a light (no one said I wasn't a nerd). So this one is a little challenging because I can't think of a single song that I haven't slept to at least once... but... I'll go with Sing Sweet Nightingale from Disney's Cinderella... it's a sweet, short, song that I think works as a lullaby...

Now it's back to working on retooling my Photography Blog.

30 Days of Song: Day Nine

Day 9: Song you can dance to

I have to choose this song just because of the memories I have with Erin. The song came out a few weeks before we travelled from Kenai, Alaska to Portland, Oregon so Erin could attend cooking school to become the wonderful and amazing chef that she is. We were in I don't know where Canada late at night (or really early early morning) getting gas. Erin and I headed into the gas station to get snacks and sodas and all sorts of bad for you foods and this really hot Canadian Cowboy came roaring into the parking lot blasting "Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy" by Big & Rich. Being as slap happy as I was by this point on the road I began busting out the music video moves (though not anywhere near as amazing) and, well, yeah... we still talk about it seven plus years later.

And since I couldn't find their music video I put up On The Rocks' version of it. Because they're awesome.