30 Days of Fangirl-ism - Day 8 - Fandom you thought you wouldn’t get into but did

I have three of these, most of the shows that I get into they're because I've seen the promos and decided to check them out. These three were shows that I had no desire to watch the first go around even though a lot of my friends were.

All of my Disney friends seemed to be into this show when it started. I thought it looked completely hokey (and honestly it pretty much is), that the acting seemed more geared towards soap stars, and they were going to mess with my fairytales. Didn't care to watch. Then I was stuck in Montana while my dog was being put to sleep thousands of miles away in Alaska and I just needed something to get my mind off of it - so I put on Once Upon A Time. Besides the second season was in full swing and people were talking about how attractive Captain Hook was - and after seeing a few pictures I had to agree. But I wasn't going to jump into the story at the end of a second season. So I had to catch up.

Seriously Captain Guyliner is everything right with this
show. Even if I am a Nealfire fangirl, I can appreciate
the beauty that is Colin O'Donoghue.

And darn it - the pretty people won me over. The dialogue was horrible, incredibly cheesy (and I'm still not sure if the actors are just committed to the lines/story or if it's more of a Star Wars idea of "we know this is lame so let's just over do it to make it entertaining"). But I loved the twists to the classic tales - especially how Rumpelstiltskin was tied into every single one of them! The fact that they were in the modern world was also intriguing... and I LOVED the story of Rumple and Baelfire... especially when we figured out that Rumple was searching for him still. I wanted to know who Bae was in the "World Without Magic."

I didn't like season 2 as much though I DID love Captain Hook (aka Captain Guyliner). Who know that villain was so sexy?! We also got adult Baelfire in our lives, and all I could think was "why did Emma go for such an average looking guy?!" Ha ha. Boy have I changed my tune! Season 3 would find me falling more in love with Neal Cassidy (aka Adult Baelfire... aka Michael Raymond-James!) only to watch him die three episodes into the return from the winter hiatus. Still not over it, as well all know... and my interest had dropped significantly (one hot pirate is not enough).

I guess I'm kinda like Rumple's actor Robert Carlyle. The story of Rumple and Bae is why I got interested in the show, and without that storyline it's just not as much fun to watch. I wanted to stick with the show, but as the 4th season got closer the less desire I had. I didn't want to watch the nods to MRJ or the Neal character as it would make me sad all over again, and I couldn't get into the corny lines in the promos. I just wasn't feeling it.

And the more I read people getting excited the less I was interested. I'm somewhat more interested in the second half of the season - but even that with some of the "spoilers" we've been given as to who the guest stars are... I'm worried it'll just tick me off. So I'm content to not follow the show - for now - and hope for better things.

And no if they just brought Neal Cassidy back I don't think it'd make it better. As much as I selfishly want MRJ on my screen each week in that role that I love, I'm pretty sure it'd be a bad choice from a writing perspective.

Arrow was another show I just had no desire to watch. I didn't know what it was, honestly, so even though a lot of my friends were talking about it I didn't care to learn about it. Then my friend Aimee kept badgering me to give it a try. That I'd like it. That it was fun. That she wasn't expecting to like it but she loves it. All that good stuff.

So after getting over my OUAT craze and looking for something new I gave in. And I'm SO GLAD I did. Arrow is in no way like OUAT (other than it's fantasy) it's a superhero show - based on The Green Arrow comic series. It has better writing for the most part, the story is completely compelling and all characters are fleshed out and used well. They aren't forgotten when the new storyline comes along - they are all integrated. The creators have a clear vision for the show and how to get there. The cast is strong, and most episodes leave me an emotional wreck (I still blame OUAT/Michael Raymond-James for that. I was sane until "Quiet Minds").

Arrow is quite possibly my favorite series on TV right now (Blacklist comes close but I'm annoyed with their overly long hiatus at the moment).

When promos for Arrow's spin off series "The Flash" started, I was less than eager to watch. I just wasn't expecting it to be as good. Then the casting list emerged and I decided to give it a try just because of who plays Joe West (Jesse Martin - who was one of my favorite actors on Law & Order). The show started off a little rocky - it wasn't as good as Arrow's pilot - but I stuck with it and I'm so glad I did. It's a lot of fun. I really love Grant Gustin in the role of Barry Allen. He is the boy next door, perfect unsuspected hero.

And no one can cry like Grant can.



So there are my three shows that I was NEVER going to watch that I ended up getting hooked on.

30 Days of OUAT - Day 29: Favorite Season Premiere

Day 29 - Favorite Season Premiere

I gotta go with the Pilot episode. It opens SO well, I mean from the intro to Prince Charming racing down the road towards finding his true love to awaken her with true love's kiss. Everything seems so much like what we know of the story... and then all hell breaks loose.

Season 2's premiere was nice, but at the same time the whole "Mystery Man" portion (aka Michael Raymond-James walking through NYC before coming home, losing his ipod, and getting a postcard with the word "broken") was just really annoying. Don't get me wrong, as an MRJ fangirl (now) I love seeing him, but it made NO SENSE! Especially since we don't see him again for several episodes and it just didn't seem to fit within the rest of the story (and I'm STILL not sure it does)!

Season 3's was somewhat of a let down (actually all of 3a feels that way), even though - once again - an MRJ fangirl gets some quality stuff out of the character of Neal (much more so than in Season 2's opener). There was just too much going on with Neal in the EF, Henry with Greg and Tamara finding out who they were taking orders from, and then the rescue party on the Jolly Roger (and all of the secondary characters back in Storybrooke). It was all just too convoluted.

But the Pilot episode had a beginning, middle, end... and a purpose. A real one, not just a "let's get back into this and introduce the new characters" kinda thing. Only thing that'd make it better is having MRJ in it, but we couldn't know who Neal was until Season 2... it wouldn't have fit the storyline... wouldn't have given us enough angst. We needed to work up to finding Baelfire... and besides we wouldn't have August trying to fool Rumple without us not knowing who Bae really was.

I had to get a few fangirl gush moments in, so sue me. Ha ha.

30 Days of OUAT - Day 27: Most Shocking Moment

Day 27 - Most Shocking Moment

Pretty sure this one ranks right up there. I had thought for weeks - really since the second half of season 3 began - that Neal was the one who sent Hook to get Emma. I don't know why, but I just thought that either they had both tried to get back to her and Neal had somehow failed to survive the trip (thinking to who could possibly be the character to die that they warned us about), or that he couldn't make it and knew that the Jolly Roger was the only way to get back to the Land Without Magic. Remember, Neal is probably the one who knows best how to travel from realm to realm (other than Jefferson who is a non-factor to the story these days due to the actor not being available).

However, after "Quiet Minds" where we see Neal essentially die in his father's arms (and get absorbed by him... still weirds me out), so I figured I was wrong. Because Neal had no knowledge past the flying monkeys being a signal that the Wicked Witch of the West was around what was going on with the Charmings ("You're acting like that's normal"). He didn't know Zelina had threatened them, or that no one but Emma could defeat her. That is, until "A Curious Thing" airred. There we find Belle and the others going to Rumple for help. He's locked away in his own castle with the madness that having his son in his body/mind keeping him from being controlled by Zelina. Belle asks him how they can defeat the witch and he riddles them with the answer - Emma.

Towards the end of the episode - after Zelina finds out that the Charmings have re-enacted the dark curse to get back to Storybrooke and find a way back to Emma - Zelina comes with a memory potion for Rumple so that he can retain his memories - should he so choose. Rumple contemplates taking it, and just as he puts it to his lips an unseen force throws him back against the wall. He struggles and then that all too familiar and creepy bad CGI melds two faces together - the same two faces as in Quiet Minds. Neal rips through his father's body taking the potion, saying they aren't the ones that need to remember - Emma is. He rips his shirt, writes a message, calls a dove (some say that's proof he's a Prince(ss)) and sends the message to Hook.

Some say this shows him out of character - because he trusts Hook. Neal has only ever not trusted Hook where his father was concerned. Post Neverland, I don't even think he much cared/worried about that. Yes, he saw Hook as a rival for Emma's affection, but even towards the end of that part of the season Neal was willing to "let her go" if that's what made her happy. But NONE of that was what was being done in this scene. It was not his "blessing" for CaptainSwan to happen. Neal knew his fate in that moment (and would've known it in Storybrooke had they had their memories of the year in the EF), he needed to have someone as desperate as he was to get back to Emma get her the message. He knows Hook's capabilities (probably better than most anyone else still alive on the show). He TRUSTED him with the most important task.

Like Neal said in Quiet Minds - he hadn't forgotten all that Hook did for him (yes there was a betrayal, but Neal knows better than anyone the regret of betraying someone you love and care for). Neal did what he had to do. Neal gave up his fears, wants, desires, needs to give Emma the best possible chance she had to save her family. To, once again, come back home. He needed to know that his son and the woman he has always loved would be SAFE. Hook could give him that.



What made this shocking to me - since "I called it" - is the fact that I was RIGHT. And how it was done. As devastating as the story is in this scene... it made me happy. Not just to be right, but that because we got to see MRJ once again. We'd see him one final time in Season 3 - in the season finale. These scenes were wonderful, but ripped open the fangirl wounds all over again. I've "self medicated" by binge watching the short lived Terriers (which they really need to have clips of on Youtube!)... Britt Pollack is Nealfire in the 11 years between leaving Emma and getting found in NYC I just know it! lol

30 Days of OUAT - Day 26: Most Heartfelt Moment

Day 26 - Most Heartfelt Moment

This is not the most heartfelt, but it's definitely one of them. I love the scene where Rumple is dying in his shop, Emma and Neal are desperately trying to protect him from Regina and Cora... but it's not working. The protection spell is weakening, and Rumple is succumbing to the poison (Nightshade courtesy of our beloved Captain Hook). Rumple says he's dying, Neal frustratedly disagrees with his father and sits on a stool to pout (because, lets face it, Neal is sometimes more that 14 year old Baelfire than the adult Neal). Rumple asks Emma to let him call Belle, who is in the hospital cursed with her curse memories (after being shot by, you guessed it, our beloved Captain Hook).

Rumple's phone call to the amnesia patient is touching, and heartfelt. Full of love. Emma and Neal both hear his words, and we see Neal's demeanor soften slightly. Remember, this guy has been running from his father for over 200 years at this point, and has been haunted by his father abandoning him for all of it. There's centuries of hurt and shame that he's not dealing with.

When Rumple ends his call, Neal tells his father he believed him incapable of such feelings. Rumple tells him he's full of love. Neal truly is Baelfire in this scene, as he confronts his father with the point that Rumple broke their deal (of all the deals Rumple's made the ONLY one he goes back on is the one with his son). Rumple apologizes to his son, asking his forgiveness... and then my favorite part of the whole thing... Rumple reaches his bloodstained hand out to his son asking him to take it. Neal looks down at it and says ever so quietly (and in a voice that would fit more as a boy than a man) "I'm still angry." It's once again Michael Raymond-James acting to perfection (seriously Robert and MRJ together is magic).  There is so much being said in those three words.

Watching Neal fight his pain, his anger, his mixed up emotions and finally take his father's hand and reconnect breaks my heart. I'd always felt a sense of joy that they were reconciling when watching this scene before... Season 3b ruined that for me. Now my heart just breaks (seriously, MRJ owes me my happiness back... I blame him as much as I do Adam and Eddy for ruining my life! LOL).



Thank you, Michael Raymond-James. I'm sorry it took me so long to fangirl! You're an amazing actor, and I can't wait to see what's next! (Seriously, it's been soon-ish! Dish on your next project!)

30 Days of OUAT - Day 25: Favorite Storybrooke Business

Day 25: Favorite Storybrooke Business

Not that we've seen many for more than a couple of glimpses, so that makes the choice rather simple. It was either Gold's or Granny's... and I like Gold's more. There's more to look at, explore, and wonder about meaning. Many hidden treasures are in there - not just signifying who might be in Storybrooke, but how they might all be connected... or better yet, what's coming next. So many scenes happen within the shop that you can't help but love the place.

Watching it be destroyed (along with Henry's book!) when Regina reversed Pan's curse was pretty devastating (well... until the rest of this season happened... now I wish I could go back and just relive that moment as being the worst ever).

30 Days of OUAT - Day 20: Favorite Scene

 
Day 20 - Favorite Scene

Um, well... I have been sharing my favorites throughout the course of the meme... so... I guess I'll pick one of my favorites I haven't yet shared. And it's another scene from Manhattan (definitely one of my favorite episodes EVER), it comes right after Neal finds out he's a father. Rumple informs Neal that the deal with Emma was for her to get Neal to talk to Rumple. Neal tells him he's got three minutes... and then this scene happens. This is where two of OUAT's best actors shine. Robert and Michael had a great "father son" chemistry about them and it showed from the first episode they were in.

The scene is so... sad. It's where Neal gets to have a little bit of say into not only how he views his father, but what his father did to him. Yes, at the time of the episode's airing, we knew very little of what Bae went through with his father. We'd seen the young boy deal with the pain of his father turning to darkness and that his father let him go through the portal alone - but we didn't know the extent of the pain he suffered afterwards. We don't even know how long Nealfire's been away/alone (for the record it's over 200 years, way to go Papa Rumple).

And that's the part of the scene that I love most. After Neal lets Rumple have his 3 minutes, Neal shuts him down. He confesses that there hasn't been a day that's not gone by that he doesn't relive the haunting memory of his father letting him go. Of backing out of the deal. Of not being enough for his father... that his father would choose the safety of magic and a dagger over his own son. A son, who we later find out, who then goes through a multitude of losses and disappointments... only to end up making similar choices to that of his father.

Perhaps one of the reasons in the last few months that I've become such a staunch Nealfire fan is because I understand betrayal like he experienced. No, I was never dropped through a portral... my mother never ran off with a pirate... and that pirate never gave me over the Peter Pan's goons... But I do know what it's like to have people that you've loved, looked up to, respected... TRUSTED instinctively... not just "Back out of a deal" but completely misuse my trust and in a way fail me. I dealt with that for most of last year, having my parents use me to save the other sibling - when I not only had nothing to do with what caused the situation, but it also tanked my reputation within the community. It was devastating. I can safely say that reconciliation and rebuilding has been happening, but it's an up and down process. So perhaps that's why the entire Neal Cassidy arc not only speaks to me - but that I understand the entirety of it.

Still, I would love to have the guts to confront some of the darker parts of what happened the way he does... I need to get me some good writers and set the scene I suppose. But, to me, Neal not only has every right to be angry with his father - but he has the right to accept or reject him. He has the right to work out the demons how he sees fit. He has the right to ultimately forgive the man and tell him to let go (okay, yeah, I've now jumped back/forward to Quiet Minds again... dang).

I am a true believer in second chances - in all forms... and perhaps that's what Neal was supposed to get and didn't (though really... maybe that poster was not referring to Emma at all, but to Neal's forgiveness of his father).

Anyway, here's my "favorite" (today anyway) scene:


Can I also just whine for a moment - I know he just made the announcement on twitter like 4 days ago, but I really really really want to know what is next for Michael - I think 4 days is "soon-ish"! I want details! (And, seriously, if it isn't that he's going to be a regular on a great show... then I'm not sure I'll be any happier ha ha)

30 Days of OUAT - Day 18: Best Twist on Original

Day 18 - Best Twist On Original

I love the creative "twists" on the classic fairytales, granted some of the "twists" people list are actually closer to the original story than not, but my favorite has been my favorite since my first viewing. The twist on the "Crocodile" of Peter Pan/Captain Hook. As we all know the original has it as an actual crocodile who has swallowed Hook's hand that was clutching a clock. The ticking sound signaled the crocodile's approach - and was a bit of symbolism at how time chases all of us. Captain Hook fears the beast, screaming for Mr. Smee whenever the reptile is near. It adds humor to the story, and shows that Hook does have a weakness for all his tough guy talk.

Once Upon A Time's Crocodile is far more sinister and evil than any previously imagined. The Crocodile is Rumpelstiltskin! Rumple's story of losing his wife due to his cowardliness comes full circle, we find out why he's a single father - it's his own doing. When Rumple comes back from the Ogre war with a self inflicted injury (he bashes his leg causing him to have a severe limp and unable to fight). He does this to be with his wife who he finds out is with child (by the time he returns home she has had their son). Upon meeting the babe, Rumple finds that his wife Milah is disgusted with what he has become.

Milah continues to grow unhappy with her life, and takes to the tavern where she meets a man who is far braver and exciting. He's a pirate, and they hit it off. Rumple comes searching for her with Baelfire in tow. Milah refuses to come with Rumple until Bae makes his way in asking his mother when she's coming home. She leaves with them, but then takes to her bed. She confesses her unhappiness. Later she leaves him for the Pirate (Killian Jones). Rumple goes looking for her, and when he finally catches up with the pirate on the Jolly Roger, he confronts the man. Begging the captain to let his wife go, that they have a son who needs his mother. Jones tells Rumple he's an honorable man, and as such suggests they duel to see who gets Milah.

Rumple, being the coward (not yet the Dark One, that comes later), refuses to fight. Jones then tells Rumple "aman unwilling to fight for what he wants, deserves what he gets." Rumple still is unwilling to pick up a sword, asking Jones what he's to tell his son. Jones coldly tells him "The truth. That his father is a coward." Rumple is thrown off the ship, returns home where he tells a very young Baelfire that his mother is not coming back. (Later in the series Baelfire relays to Hook that his mother was killed by a pirate, which is why [Bae] hates all pirates.)

Sometime later, after Rumple becomes the Dark One and Baelfire is lost to the portal, Rumple finds himself in a tavern when Killian Jones and crew walks in. Rumple watches the pirate, and when Jones leaves for the evening Rumple follows him out to the alleyway. Rumple pretends to be a beggar, bumping into the pirate. Jones mocks him, seeing his scaly skin calling him a crocodile. When Rumple reveals himself Jones recognizes the coward, but is quickly lost of all smugness when Rumpelstiltskin gives him his title of Dark One. Suddenly sober, Jones is asked about Milah - and he feigns ignorance. Rumple knows better, and Jones finally gives in and tells him that she died.

Rumple calls for a duel, saying they never had a chance to finish the last time (kinda hard to finish something you wouldn't start, Dark One). Jones makes ready, but Rumple gives him until the next day. When the two meet up for their duel, Rumple bests the pirate - but before he can kill the man, a voice from the past screams for him to stop. It's Milah, she's alive and kicking. And she has something Rumple wants (a magic bean).

They bring the crocodile to the ship, but things go a little screwy when Rumple and Milah have it out about her leaving not just him but their son. Rumple's own guilt for having let his son go comes pouring out as anger towards her. When she apologizes for leaving Bae, he asks why, and she spits back that she never loved Rumple... a coward. He then rips her heart out, and crushes it. She dies in Jones' arms. Jones, holding the magic bean, calls Rumple a coward and refuses to give the magic bean. Rumple slices off the hand that [he believes] holds the bean. Jones vows to find a way to kill Rumple, and Rumple disappears in the cloud of smoke. Jones finds a rope hook on the deck, and gets the idea to put the hook where he once had a hand.

He takes the name Hook, and reveals he still has the bean. He throws it out into the open water and sails for Neverland. He will spend decades trying to find the way to kill the crocodile.

30 Days of OUAT - Day 17: Favorite Cliffhanger

Day 17 - Favorite Cliffhanger

Once Upon A Time is King of the Cliffhanger. I have a love hate relationship with it because of the cliffhangers. This show gets my creative brain going in overdrive (probably part of the reason why I can't "let go" of Neal's death. There are SO MANY plot/loopholes that could bring him back. So many quotes that suggest that it's a possibility or the thought... and then so many that suggest that nope, he's gone for good. But I can't shut off that creative side of me!)

With Season 3 we got two mini seasons in one. And the mid-season finale (episode 11, "Going Home") was by far the best. It actually felt like a series finale. It was so sad and yet hopeful at the same time. I haven't rewatched season 3 much - just the clips on youtube over and over and over again... (stinkin' Neal... I was not this obsessed with OUAT until he up and died. Thanks a lot MRJ!) I mean, they wrapped up the Neverland arc, saved Henry, Rumple finally releases his cowardess and reconciles with his son professing his love for Belle... it was a great "happy ending moment"... until Peter Pan enacts a reboot of the dark curse and Regina is forced to stop it. But to stop it, she has to let go of the thing she loves most - her son, Henry.

The reset will send all of Storybrooke back to the Enchanted Forest - all fairytale characters must go. Yep, even the two that were not part of the original curse (Emma & Neal)... knowing that that would leave Henry alone, Regina can save Emma from that fate... but there's a catch - they will not remember their family and friends from Storybrooke. They won't remember Neal coming back with them (FOR them). They will have good memories of Henry always being with Emma, but none of the Charmings... or Regina... or... well... Hook. They'll have never known that the odd little town ever existed or that they were once part of it. That it was once home.

After Emma accepts the inevitable, and a round of quickly said goodbyes (with Emma clearly being more upset about saying goodbye to the pirate than to her first love) Emma and Henry get into the yellow bug and drive across the town line with their family and friends watching. As they cross the town and everyone disappears as do the memories, Regina counteracts the curse. A purple haze falls over the town destroying everything in its path - including Henry's book.

The last seconds of the episode the EF is filled with its (formerly) missing characters, and then we see Emma and Henry in their NYC apartment. Happy, healthy, and a whole year has passed. A knock at the door and some weirdo in leather is at the door saying he knows Emma, that he knows she doesn't remember him, but her family is in trouble... and he goes in for a kiss, and she knees him in his misters. And then we had to wait through an insanely long hiatus for the creators to rip our hearts out slowly and crush them throughout the second half of the third season.

The obvious was that there was a way to get back to the land without magic from the EF... but how? And why was it Hook that left the EF to come get Emma?! We got most of our questions answered by the time Season 3b ended last night (great two hour season finale... though there were some major timeline issues... and a lot of plot/loopholes left open for people to get their hopes up for a future resurrection).

30 Days of OUAT - Day 16: Saddest Moment

Day 16: Saddest Moment

I can't think of a sadder one. Neal Cassidy's death is without doubt the saddest moment in the show's run. For me it probably always will be. It's far more emotional than when Emma is arrested for stealing watches (because Neal left her, and August called in a tip. jerks.), it's more emotional than Snow and Charming letting their daughter go through the wardrobe... the list goes on and on. None of those affected me like the episode Quiet Minds. Ironically, until Quiet Minds, I was pretty indifferent to Neal's story. I liked him as a father, and he had a great set of lines, but as far as feeling sorry for him or anything, nope. He was "the jerk that abandoned" (his words!) Emma (and Henry).

It wasn't the surprise that it should've been - the creators spoiled it weeks in advance "warning" fans that someone was going to die when the show returned from the mid-season hiatus. They gave those of us who are rabid "over-analyzers" tons of time to work it out and figure out who was most likely to go (they gave us a very short list of possibilities). It really came down to either Neal or Belle, and of the two Belle is more popular. She's never betrayed the one she loves. So even before Quiet Minds airred I was 85% sure that it would be Neal. I was just hoping they weren't going to go for the obvious. As much as I was indifferent to the character, there was still ton of potential storyline - and there's the whole father element that I totally buy into no matter who the character is. Be it Nealfire and Rumple or Henry and Nealfire.

If you weren't convinced it was going to be him, the promo for the episode should've definitely tipped you off. It was clearly Neal Cassidy falling to the ground in pain. I played the denial card as I just couldn't believe they would be THAT blatant. And even if you were still holding out hope - by the time the scene with Neal and Hook came around you should have had NO confusion. I'm still not sure that Hook didn't know that it was Neal who warned him about the danger coming and that Emma was needed. It would at least explain why Hook looked SO SAD when he talked with Neal in the hospital. I'm of the belief that Hook knew the entire time what Neal's fate was/would be. If not, then we're seeing Colin in that scene being super bummed that his buddy on the show was leaving (most likely a combination of both scenarios ha ha).

When Hook gave Neal the hug in the hospital I knew without a doubt that Neal was toast. I may have even said some words I shouldn't have. I hate when a show makes it obvious. They should've just been up front about it. "Hey, MRJ fans, he's leaving the show. We're killing him off. Thanks for watching!" Because, really, judging by the blogs and social media posts from that night - Michael has a ton of fans that did not see it coming even with all of the signs. And that's sad. It's also sad that he's not on our TV every Sunday night, he's a fantastic actor and while he's definitely been noticed by the business they never keep him around long (he's chosen for this type of role way too much).

But, I digress.

The Saddest Moment is the scene where Neal dies. He asks Emma to split him from his father to keep the town, and especially Emma & Henry, safe. Neal is able to say goodbye to his father, with the final reconciliation taking place with Neal's last breath. Emma, too, gets a sense of closure with Neal telling her to go and be happy and "find Tallahassee" even if it's without him. Earlier in the episode he tells her he wants her to be happy no matter who she's with, and that he would always love her. Emma begs Neal to hold on, that he needs to see Henry (doing a 180 from when she talked to him in the hospital saying that with Henry not having his memories it would be better if Neal didn't see him). And that is what is most tragic about Neal's death. It was pretty clear that Neal and Emma would not get back together. That there was a love there, but the trust was most likely forever broken... (and I'm not a big swanfire shipper... it's a nice idea, but it wasn't playing out that way.)

The saddest, most tragic thing (aside from no more Mikey Ray on Sunday Nights ha ha) was that Neal couldn't make good on his promise to his son of seeing him again. That Henry is forever without his father - oh, he has father figures in his life, but that's not the same. Yes, Neal was in Henry's life for the equivalent of only a couple of weeks, but they WERE bonding and they did have a connection. And that will most likely play some sort of role into Henry's psyche. There's only so much that Hook and Emma can tell him of who Nealfire was... and who's to say Grandfather Rumple is going to be all that willing to have a relationship with the only thing he has left of Baelfire? Especially since Henry is also supposed to be his undoing. Season 4, I hope, will not erase Neal's memory - and hopefully we get answers.

And, yes, I'm one of those holding out hope that there is a way to bring Neal back. I don't believe that the creators have that option out on the table, but I know there are enough loopholes that it'd be possible if they suddenly wanted/needed to bring it about. At the very least I want flashbacks. Grief can't be so easily overcome, though Emma already grieved for Neal when he "died" at the end of Season 2. Probably the biggest travesty of the writing of Neal's death (the only one from a writer standpoint IMO) is that it happened so soon after the last time he died. This is also why I don't believe Nealfire fans will get their wish of Neal coming back. The man's been dead in one way or another 3 times so far. He comes back and it'll be seen as a poor writing choice. And it won't hold to MRJ's wanting to "tell bold stories".

I've been watching this scene on youtube for the last few days knowing that this prompt was coming up, and I love catching more and more with each viewing. As sad as it makes me (seriously my heart still drops each time, MRJ was flawless. Jen's voice cracking when it did... ugh!) there's just so much that is said through visual cues and nuance. We do truly see both Neal and Baelfire in his final moments, and we do see the love that's shared between "Swanfire". When Emma pleads with Neal, to argue with him about it being too late, he once again goes into the protector mode from all those years ago telling her it is going to be okay. That he'll be watching her and Henry "from somewhere". And you can see that he's not totally okay with it himself, he has his own tears. He's not afraid to die, he's made his peace with that, but he's watching the woman he loves in pain... and he's lost his son without seeing him again to say goodbye.

But, I think Rumple says what all of us Nealfire fans truly feel (then and still)...

"No. I don't want to let you go."

And we won't fully let go. We can't. As much as Neal's plea of "I need you to," is what he wants (and what we need), We can't let go. Because it's too soon. Because it's too raw... because the trio of actors played that scene out far too well (DARN THEM!). So, obviously, I have a ways to go until I'm "over it." I accept it - I don't disagree that it was a bold choice, or even ultimately the "right" way to end the character arc. I may disagree as to when it needed to happen (middle of season 4 would've been much better), but I don't think that it's the death nell of the show.


I am not one of those fans that believes that Neal died just to make it easier for creators to push the "CaptainSwan" shipping. That had been hinted as far back as Season 2, well before they had decided Neal was going to die. I think the deciding factor was their getting the rights to the Wizard or Oz, and Rebecca coming on board to play the Wicked Witch. This question of "why did they kill Neal" was answered in last weeks episode. Rumple needed a reason to betray Belle's trust, and the only person who trumps the love of his life is his son. They needed a catalyst to "kill off" Zelena (I'm not convinced she's dead) and Neal was the only viable option. It sucks, but from a storytelling/writing perspective I see why and where they were going.

As I said earlier, however, the timing was wrong. They just "killed him off" at the end of season two and brought him back in Season 3, only to have him die once again. It was "too soon a killing" (again from a storytelling/writing perspective). That's really the only major fault I can find within their timeline. This episode was one of the best (if not the best) written in the show's history, the pacing was the best they've had in a long time. I know I've said before that Neal's final arc should've been two episodes - and I still believe that - but as quick as it was, the pacing worked. I'm not sure I could handle a two part farewell anyway. Ha ha.

I know people are saying that Neal was very out of character in this episode, but I really don't see it. This is not the first time Neal's willing to get back to Emma and Henry by any means necessary. In the Season 3 opener he's willing to go into his father's castle to find a way to get back - using "blood magic". No, it wasn't dark magic, but he was pretty determined and wasn't completely against the idea. I mean, he ends up using Robin Hood's son as bait to get Pan's shadow to appear!

Secondly, Neal does make rash decisions where family is concerned. Not always, but this IS the guy who sent Emma to prison because Pinocchio told him to (actually Neal didn't know about that until AFTER it happened, but still). This is the guy who watched his father give up his cowardly ways to save his family and sacrifice himself. Neal may not like what the dark magic did to his family, to his father, but at the same time he needed a loophole (much like his fans are now clinging to the hope of a loophole).

Third, the argument that he wouldn't give up on Emma and his relationship so easily - he already was starting to the "year prior" when crap hit the fan with Pan in Storybrooke. Neal even acknowledged in the hospital that he knew he couldn't come barging back into Emma's life. In season 2 it wasn't Neal who sought Emma out or even pursued her. The only time he "fought for" Emma was when it was Hook who was flirting. (Hook, btw, did think that Neal should have the first shot... when Emma blew off Neal that made it fair game.) Ultimately he wants Emma safe and happy - if that means all he is, is the guy who shares custody of their son, that's what he'll be. He's willing to put Emma before himself - which is a 180 in some ways (or at least in Emma's eyes) from what he was 11 years ago when he left her.

Was it an "easy" choice for the creators? Only they truly know. Did they mistreat Michael Raymond-James in some way? I would argue no, but again we will never know. Fans should take the actor at his word - even if what [little] he's said on the subject seems like a lot of "toeing the line". Both sides acknowledge that they discussed and agreed to this ending for Neal. I'm not saying it was the way MRJ wanted it to end, but ultimately he's made his peace with it - and was on board with it. To suggest anything else - at this point - is to suggest he's a liar... and I know his fans don't mean to come off that way (or at least I hope they don't).

Maybe once this season is over and his contract with OUAT is up he can "break radio silence" and answer those questions that folks have. Maybe. But to vilify the shows creators over it seems a little extreme. Remember, without Adam Horowitz and Eddie Kitsis, we would not have Neal Cassidy. Most of us wouldn't have a clue as to who Michael Raymond-James is (okay, unless you were into True Blood... or Terriers - which I am addicted to, and wish it'd made it). I'm not saying they did him favors (he's a bloody gifted actor who deserves a series that won't kill him off after 20 or so episodes), I'm just saying we wouldn't have had this awesome character without them. They've done things right and ultimately Once Upon A Time is still a great show. It's never been perfect, it's never been on par with the "best shows of all time", but it's a great fantasy show. Great twists. So I'm sticking with it - even with the "lovesick pirate".

And, who knows, maybe the "rumors" that MRJ denied are really true and we'll see him finally get his big break. I have hope and can keep dreaming. :)

30 Days of OUAT - Day 14: Favorite Costume

Day 14: Favorite Costume

This seems a little redundant since we just had best dressed and I fangirled on Neal Cassidy's style. So it might come as a surprise that I didn't pick one of his (seriously, I'd just be repeating myself as to which outfit I liked best on him). My honorable mention was Prince Charming - for the most part he's a spiffy dresser (I really hate when he's in his furs, though, it just looks dumb). I do like his every day travel wear that he had for most of season 1 in the EF... but my favorite is definitely the princely dress suit(?) that Rumple gives him in the season 1 finale when he goes to find and rescue his beloved Snow.

We see him in it, of course, in the very first scene of the pilot episode. He makes quite the statement in it. It's the perfect Prince Charming look. You know instantly who he's supposed to be. David is a fan of the cape, and I have to say I am too. It suits him well. (Sorry Edna Mode, capes make the man in the EF.)

And, once again, can I just say that Josh Dallas is the perfect Prince Charming? I cannot for the life of me think of any actor (either on OUAT or elsewhere) that could play this part better. Sure he sometimes takes the lines he says too seriously, but that adds to the charm (see what I did there) of Charming/David Nolan. Plus, he's freaking hot.



Prince Charming gets his Cinderella Moment... Rumple's a fan of true love? Who wouldn't be while looking into Josh Dallas' eyes. (Yeah, I went there, I'm SO superficial I hate myself ha ha.)

30 Days of OUAT - Day 11: Favorite Storybrooke Female

Day 11: Favorite Storybrooke Female

Ashley Boyd, who we find out is Cinderella back in the Enchanted Forest, is one of the most adorable characters on the show. I don't know why we don't see more of Ashley and Sean in the later seasons as their story was interesting and I think they could be important to the show as the story moves on even if they are just "extra" characters and not the major plot. But I digress.

Ashley was brought in to appeal to the back story of Emma and Henry. How Emma was pregnant and gave up a child at a very early age. Ashley is also a "teen in trouble" and has promised her baby to Mr. Gold (Rumpelstiltskin). Why Gold needs a baby really has to do with the fact that Cinderella promised her firstborn to Rumpelstiltskin way back when she was just an abused shut in dreaming of a better life. Rumple kills her fairy godmother in order to manipulate the situation (in classic Rumple fashion of course). Magic always comes with a price, and she agrees. Because she's young and naive.

We first meet her as an extremely pregnant girl who is overwhelmed by the burden of being a single mom who has agreed to give up her baby for adoption. The plan was cooked up by the baby daddy's father who has split the couple up because he has big plans for his son and being a young father is not in that plan. Ashley has a job as a housekeeper at Granny's and we meet her when Emma goes into the laundry room to clean her shirt that she's spilled coffee on. Ashley is there and has managed to ruin a load of laundry, turning the sheets pink. She confides in Emma that she's afraid and that she knows what people are saying. Emma tells her to forget what they're saying and prove them wrong. Emma gives up a little bit of her story (not much, we really won't learn all of what went on with Emma leading up to Henry's birth until Season 2 when we meet Henry's biological father - oh, look what I did there! ha ha!) and it inspires the young mom.

She ends up taking off to keep the baby, after ransacking Gold's shop to try and get the contract away from him. Gold hires Emma to "recover his property" that was stolen, but does not tell Emma what that is. She figures it out and decides that she'll have Ashley's back if she wants to keep the baby because no one should tell the girl what to do in this situation. Ashley wants the baby and Emma ends up owing Gold a favor (which he collects on in Manhattan when he sends her off to chase down his son - NEAL). Emma also goes and tells Sean about Ashley and the baby and how he needs to man up and not let Daddy be the deciding factor (oh the irony. if she only knew the real reason for her taking the fall and being abandoned by her first love, right?). Sean (Prince Thomas in the EF) steps up and comes to his princess and the family is reunited.

Later on after the baby is born and home and Ashley and Sean are together we see Ashley struggling to make it all work, and lament to Ruby, Emma, and Mary Margaret that she gets no time with Sean and that they want to get married but she doesn't see when they'll have the time or if Sean is even thinking that way for real. It's Valentine's Day and they decide to have a girls night. While out Ashley mentions that she thought Love was supposed to be different than what she has (aka she didn't think you had to work for it). Sean surprises her on his break from work and asks her to marry him. He sweeps her off her feet and... we only see her in a split second scene at the beginning of the spin off series "Once Upon A Time In Wonderland". Adam & Eddie, Cindy and Thomas aren't dead... bring them back! Let's see what they're up to now!




As to why Emma wasn't considered, I have 2 reasons. First I don't count her as a "storybrooke character" she transcends the EF and SB curses. She has never been cursed as she escaped it as a newborn. For this same reason I won't count Neal Cassidy as a Storybrooke character (he'd win with no problem ha ha). The second reason is, and I don't think this should shock anyone, is I'm not a big fan of Emma. I liked her in Season 1, but she's becoming incredibly frustrating in later seasons. The only time she's any good is when she's bantering with either Hook or Neal. I don't know if that's just how JMo works, or if it's the writing, or what it is. But something about her bugs me. I want to like her, and I love her storyline... it's just... unexplainable. Ha ha!

30 Days of OUAT - Day 9: Best Dressed

Day 9 - Best Dressed

That honor goes to Neal Cassidy - though it was a hard decision. Most everyone dresses well in this show. Which I don't know how the curse knew to give them all designer duds, or how a drifter turned whatever he is now who has a trashy apartment can own the clothes Neal does... but still. There's not much this guy can't wear that doesn't look good. Even as the thief in Tallahassee, Neal's outfits never miss (his hair on the other hand definitely needed work... thankfully the Neal we all come to know and most love has a better look in that regard lol).

I love how Neal's style is comfort. Other than when he's just the "mystery man" in a suit and tie, he's normally running around in a sweater or hoodie. And his coat/sweater combos are always great. Ha ha. This prompt makes me feel silly. I feel like I should be talking about the character or the actor, not his clothes. But really the clothes do say a lot about his character. His appearance isn't the important thing about what he wears, it's about comfort. That they're stylish on him is just an added bonus.

When Neal is cursed back to his homeland at the end of Season 3a/beginning of 3b, we get to see what adult Baelfire's wardrobe looks like. And again it's pretty practical/comfortable. It took me a while to get into the whole Enchanted Forest costume, it seemed rather bulky, but once it was actually in a scene and not just stills it worked. Neal is back to the earth-tones that we saw on young Baelfire when he was living there.

I guess I should learn how to do what they do on tumblr and do those nifty little gif sets because obviously Neal's had more than two outfits (unlike his main rival for Emma's heart, Captain Hook ha ha). The blue/grey shirt he wore for most of Season 3a is probably my favorite look on him, even if it was soiled and bloody from being shot and worn for days on end all the while fighting off lost boys and traipsing through the Enchanted Forest, grabbing onto Pan's shadow, oh and hiking through Neverland. Just another day's work for Nealfire I suppose.

And, because I can, one of my favorite scenes in that shirt - where Neal confronts his father about the prophecy and Rumple's plans for Henry... best part is when Rumple calls him Baelfire and Neal balks shouting "It's Neal!" It's why I hope that this supposed reboot of the past that Zelena (though we're thinking Rumple is really going to pull it off) wants to cast is unsuccessful. Neal does not want to go back to the boy he once was - he even says as much to Rumple in Season 2: "14? I don't want to be 14 again are you insane?!... forget who I am? no thank you." While it would be great to see father and son reunited for good, I don't want it to be another reboot like what happened with August/Pinocchio. Anyway, I leave you with the scene from "Nasty Habits". Rest in Peace, Neal Cassidy... and thank you, Michael Raymond-James for being such an amazing actor. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find a happy go lucky role, I just need to see you happy and alive in one show/movie... just once. It's all I ask!




Oh, and honorable mentions go to Prince Charming and Jefferson. Charming'd have gotten it if they weren't so obsessed with the fur capes and stuff. They are getting ridiculous! And Jefferson would've probably won out had it not been for my Neal obsession. Not going to lie. That and his Wonderland outfit is a little whackadoodle.

30 days of OUAT - Day 5: Favorite Villain

Day 5 - Favorite Villain

Just for the record - having the flu sucks. Today is the first day since Sunday that I felt like sitting up for any good amount of time, and I'm still feeling crappy. But, I'm upright, and it's been bugging me that I've let my blog slide yet again (I know, I really have no life). Hopefully I'm alive and kicking for the weekend, or it's going to be a waste as I actually have the house to myself. At least it will be quiet.

Anyway back to the prompt, favorite villain on Once. I think this character is everyone's favorite - and if he isn't they're lying. Rumpelstiltskin makes this show - and not just because he's the author of the original curse. Robert Carlyle is a star, his strengths as an actor helped him create a truly creepy and complex character. Whether he's a sniveling cowardly father, the scaly "crocodile" of the "Dark One", or the ruthless shopkeeper Mr. Gold - you just want to love to hate him.

He's also a sympathetic character, even though you really don't want him to be. You feel for his plight to find his son Baelfire (Neal Cassidy), the loss of his wife to a pirate - heck, in some ways you feel like Belle believing he does have a glimmer of good left in him. Sure, watching Belle and Scaly Rumpel make-out is creepy, heck any of the women kissing him when he's in any form seems creepy, but there's still a part of you that is happy that he's found someone to believe in him no matter what (so much so that you can *almost* get over the fact that his new fling is younger than his son).

He is so quotable as well - especially when he is his Fairytale persona. I can't seem to stop "singing" his latest ditty "You feed the madness and it feeds on you" and "all the voices in my head will be silent when I'm... dead." And, really, who doesn't find themself quoting "all magic comes at a price." Robbie C's Rumpel is absolute perfection. He's every bit as terrifying as the original Grimm's villains - or Walt Disney's classic villains.

His current arc is definitely interesting, with Zelena holding him captive he's not truly seen grieving the loss of his son (this time for sure is final), but I don't expect the writers to give us any more than what they already have in that regard. Still, once Rumpel finds a way to enact revenge, I'd want to be far away when it happens. It's going to be amazing. (and if it ISN'T amazing then I'm going to be disappointed lol)


Honorable mention needs a shout out - and that goes to Captain Hook (Killian Jones). I think Colin O'Donaghue is quite possibly one of the best actors on the show. (He's definitely in my top three with Robert Carlyle and Michael Raymond-James). Hook has grown weak in season 3 for me, all the pining after Emma Swan has made the character a little too lovesick and far too little in ruthlessness. It's disappointing because he was so deliciously evil in season 2. Not that I don't think he shouldn't redeem himself, but there has to be some sort of middle ground, doesn't there? I'm also just not a fan of him ended up with Emma as I don't see that storyline fitting as much as people want it to (in all fairness I don't really want her with Neal Cassidy either - which considering what happened in Quiet Minds we don't have to worry about that). Still there's a lot to love about the man in pirate eyeliner (so yummy).