Frustrations creeping up...

I had a meltdown last night. Dad picked me up around 8 to go look at a car to replace the Duck Truck. Yes, that's right, the Ford Ranger was considered totalled by the insurance company. I'm still upset about it. That truck was an awesome vehicle. I miss it. Anyway dad found a couple of cars on Craigslist after getting caught by a scammer with a Ford Escape. Hopefully my parents are saved from any true fraud. No money had exchanged hands anyway.

So off we went to check out this Monte Carlo. The one thing I told mom was that I did not want a low to the ground vehicle. This was not understood or relayed to my dad. So I was incredibly disappointed to see how short/small the car was. I took one look at it and thought "oh heck no." Dad was pretty happy with it, but if I can't see over a snowberm I don't want it. I was very adament about that.

I was in a bad mood because work is also not going well. I just feel absolutely stupid every night as I've keyed something wrong just about everynight and everyone stands around waiting for me to finish or - worse - realizes I've made a mistake so they go tell everyone it's going to take a while.

So after I told dad I did not want the car and we had a heated discussion about the car I was going to be seeing on Sunday (about the same size but a buick which always translates into an old fogie car, to me, as well as a boat of a car at that) and I just lost it. I'm just tired of all the crap. If things don't start looking up I'm going to go insane. Thanks to taxes I am not making enough to afford rent, gas and food... I can have two of the three. I still have NO roommate prospects as I'm stuck advertising only through churches because my parents are worried some crazy person is going to come in otherwise...

UGH!

So I cried in dad's truck while we got gas and then really lost it when it pulled into my driveway. I was just TIRED of it all. I didn't want to be angry at dad - it's not his fault I've screwed this whole thing up by biting off more than I could ever possibly chew - and I didn't want to cry. Dad put his arm around my shoulders and I lost it. So then he sent me inside and parked the truck and came in. I think he was afraid I'd hurt myself LOL. We watched a bit of tv, dad started to fall asleep so I sent him home... besides I still had to work today so I needed to go to bed...

which I didn't get to sleep until 11... and even then it wasn't very fitful, so today I was in a fog.

I came home at lunch to good news. Judy and Gaylord had found a Ford Explorer in my price range and had purchased it. It's a bit older than the Ranger was... but they're convinced it is a good find... so I'm hopeful. Not the dream car, but I will get a Ford Escape someday. That's the dream.

If I survive this nightmare first. Oy.

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Eight

Day 8: Favorite Ladies Program

This is so much easier than the men... I'm not a huge fan of ladies skating. I do have my favorites, but as far as picking a favorite program it's simple. It's Angela Nikodinov's (admittedly overused) short program "Just For You". It was the first program for her transformation into the elegant skater she is remembered as. It's still my favorite even after 10 years of "more brilliant" skaters. Brilliant. Sure. Whatever.

The medal doesn't make the skater...

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Seven

Day 7: Favorite Men's Program

You really want to hurt me, don't you? How am I supposed to choose just one program? It's pretty close to impossible. The Men's dicipline is my favorite in figure skating, no surprise there, and I have a lot of favorite programs. So I'm going to narrow it down to two, favorite show program and favorite competitive program... at least I hope by the time I'm done I can have one. It'd be easier to just ask for favorite body of work of a figure skater! LOL

I'm still having a hard time deciding, I've had this blog open pretty much since I got home two hours ago and I'm still watching Youtube trying to decide just which program I want to use. It's come down to Kurt Browning, but that just narrows it down to A skater... not a program. I have so many favorites for so many reasons. And just when I think I have decided my heart comes up with another love.

But I think I'm going to go with Serenade to Sonia on this one. Not because it's technically difficult, or mindblowingly artistic (that'd be Nyah and Summertime) but because of the heart in it. It is, after all, a program dedicated to and about his relationship with his (then) new bride. And it's the program that made me fall in love with the Canadian skater whom most of the skating world already loved.



So there, whew, I picked my favorite show program... now to decide on my favorite competitive program... oh dear. This didn't seem to be so difficult. Originally I was going to go with Kurt's 1994 SP to St. Louis Blues (even if it was a disaster in Lillehammer), then I remembered I liked Evan Lysacek's Carmen, and then I wanted to pick Ryan Bradley's 2010 LP, and then I remembered I love several of Alexei Yagudin's programs. So many fantastic programs. And I do enjoy watching Johnny Weir's Otonal program... oy...

Alright I went with Ryan Bradley's 2010 Free Program. I dedicated a whole blog post about it last year, so why not. It's a fantastic program. It's everything I enjoy about the sport - in a COMPETITIVE program! It's just freaking awesome. I cannot wait to see what he does at nationals this year (so glad you've come back, Ryan!)

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Six

Day 6: Predict - gold medalists at 2011 Worlds

I am a horrible predictor. Chances are if I name someone as the winner they bomb. I am unlucky. This is not just in figure skating but in mushing and football as well. If I cheer too loudly or have too much faith in even the heavy favorite, they lose. It's so bad that I've had to promise several athletes that I won't cheer for them at all! LOL

But since I have promised to do this stupid 30 day thing I will go ahead and jinx six skaters and ruin their year.

Ladies - Miki Ando, pretty sure she's being set up as the winner. Would love to see Alissa Cizny just have a monster year and take it all, though.

Men - Daisuke Takahashi. Granted he didn't have a good nationals, and he will be defending his world title at home and yadda yadda yadda, but I think he can do it (Kurt Browning's season the year he defended his first World's title was crappy too).

Pairs - Savchenko and Szolkowy. I know most have given this to Pang & Tong, but I'm giving it to the Germans. Because they're awesome.

Dance - Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir will win this thing, if they compete. If not Meryl Davis & Charlie White.

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Five

Day 5: Your favourite Dance program

Oh goodness this is tough. Growing up I didn't "get" the ice dance side of the sport, it didn't have jumps or throws so it just didn't interest me. Then in 1999 I attended a show in Anchorage that Scott Hamilton (shocking, I know) brought up partnering with Tesoro. Renee Roca & Gorsha Sur were the token dance team in the show and they totally blew me away. Who knew ice dance could be so amazing? They skated to their program titled "Ghost". It sent shivers through me at 14.

Fast forward a few years to 2005 when I went to my first US National Championships. I met up with Melissa Gregory & Denis Petukhov and Melissa's mom and grandparents (who are all amazing). It was the first time I'd met them face to face, though we'd communicated by email prior to my making the trek to an actual event. I learned so much by sitting with Dale that week as she explained the basics of the dances. She was just your regular skater mom, but it was through her that I fell in love with the sport her daughter was a part of.

In 2007, Melissa and Denis had the free dance of a lifetime. It was one of the most beautiful programs I have ever seen, and I'm still so bummed that I did not get to see them skate it live. It was their Adam and Eve program - which would later become "Fallen Angels" a program they skated with US Men's Champion Johnny Weir.

I know I've already featured them before, and I'm incredibly biased, but Adam & Eve/Fallen Angels was just spectacular. I was tempted to go with Belbin & Agosto's Gypsy Free Dance from 2005, or Torvill & Dean's Take Five, but I've gotta go with MelDen once again. That program was everything a free dance should be.




And, of course, I gotta give some love to Gorsha Sur and that chick he skated with... so amazing.

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Four

Day 4: Up and Comer you're most excited to see...

No question, that goes to Alaska's own Keegan Messing. I've watched him climb the ranks for the last six years or so, and couldn't be more proud of all he's accomplished. While others see some of the results and think him mediocre, I'd like to point out that Alaska's figure skating scene is... well... nearly non existant. They get very little support from teh state, very little notice from the USFSA, and their expenses are multiplied due to the lack of training rinks, general airfare to get to competitions, and the inflated local economy.

Keegan is a techinical wizard who is slowly working on his artistry. He's got a lot of energy and flair... and I love his sense of humor. He made a lot of buzz in 2008 and I heard a few remarks about how much he reminded others of a young Scott Hamilton (the height probably has a lot to do with it).

He's skating as a Junior internationally, and a senior at nationals. He's part of the next generation, and I have no doubt he'll be in the mix in no time. Definitely my top pick for most exciting up and comer.

30 Days of [Figure] Skating: Day Three

Day 3: Favorite Spectatorship Moment

I have so many. I've been fortunate enough to watch Keegan Messing over the years skate in local events, I saw some wonderful Fairbanks talent this summer both of which makes my heart swell with pride seeing Alaskans excel in the sport I have loved watching for most of my life (and certainly all of my adult life, which I know is only five or so years but still. It sounds cool when I say it).

However I think the one that stands out as my favorite is watching two very special people take to the Olympic ice for the first time in 2006. Melissa and Denis were so deserving of their spot on the US team, and I was so happy for them! I was able to see them make the team at the 2006 Nationals and the butterflies still come just thinking about it. I ended up having to sit away from their family during the free dance because it was so well attended that we had to sneak seats elsewhere, but we were still front and center to see them skate to silver.

Then February came and I sat in front of the TV watching every moment of the US Olympic Figure Skating Team's moment... and when Melissa and Denis took to the ice for their Compulsary Dance there was a lot of joy. Nerves were gone, because for them it wasn't about a podium placement, it was about the moment. I don't think I've ever seen them skate freer (though their Free Dance the next season is their best ever IMO).

So that's my favorite moment as a spectator... it's all summed up in that one skate.

What I did on Christmas Vacation

Christmas was spent in Anchorage. After working all day on Thursday I drove my truck behind my dad. Duane rode with me as I was incredibly nervous driving in the dark on winter roads. It wasn't too bad, but we were definitely driving on ice in parts where I hated it.

Christmas was great. The family was all together and we had a lot of laughs and food. I love getting together with the whole gang. Louisa and Jim came down and Louisa's mom was up visiting from Washington so it was crowded, which made it even better. Christmas Eve Haille and Juanita came into town so it was one big happy family in Judy and Gaylord's small little house. Couldn't have been happier.

Christmas day was at the G'parents. It was great, and once again it was full! Carolyn and her friend came by so it was just like old times. Lots of new memories for the kids, and lots more laughter for the rest of us.

Then the day after Christmas the fun ended. We were on our way out of town, going to stop by the g'parents to say good bye and I ended up wrecking the truck. Duane, Yuka and I are all fine, no worries there. I hit a patch of ice going way slower than the speedlimit and I was able to correct the car out of the spin but not out of the slide and I ended up crunching the driver's front fender... and the tire blew... and now they're finding tons more wrong with it so it looks like the truck will be totalled and I'll be out of a vehicle. Because my life sucks like that right now.

So the four of us plus three dogs rode home in Dad's truck. Monday mom drove her van over and so I am driving that for the time being, but we can't have that forever. So who knows what's going to happen with that. More expenses just keep piling up and I have no way to pay for any of them! UGH! Tuesday mom's car wouldn't start so my boss had to come rescue me and take me into work... and my best friend found out she needed surgery. To say this week has been a crapfest would be an understatement.

So that's how I spent the last week. How was yours?

Finally back among the digital!

It's been a battle trying to get internet set up at my house, but we finally have it. Oh, how I've missed the information highway! I have felt incredibly disconnected - especially when it comes to figure skating. I've missed several huge events (Japanese nationals sounds like it was awesome. So bummed I couldn't read up on it as it happened!)

Anyway, I'm catching up on my photography pages and what not, but I will be updating on here, soon! This week has been horrible and I will be expanding on that in posts coming soon.

First week on my own…

Well, kind of. My parents are about 20 minutes away (if they drive slowly). Moving down on the 12th was bittersweet. I’ll admit it, I cried when I drove away from Judy’s. A lot of good times (and frustrating) were had there. Judy cried when we said goodbye, but I was fine until I hit 6th and then it was all over. Spent some time with my grandparents, which was nice, I have a feeling I know what I’m getting from them for Christmas this year, normally I get a fair sum of cash from grandpa, but I think this year I’m getting bed sheets and kitchen gear. Grandma was asking about what I needed for my house. Personally? I want the cash!


The drive down was uneventful. Dad drove his very loaded down truck and I drove mine (also completely loaded). We made good time and got to the house earlier than we thought considering the packing up took very little time (Gaylord was overly enthusiastic on getting stuff loaded). Then we hit a snag – the keys wouldn’t work. Apparently the locks were stripped or something so the only key that would work in the lock was the original. That has been fixed, now, as we have new locks on the doors, but it was pretty frustrating all week having to hide the key so that my mom could continue getting the house in order while I went to work.

But I’m getting a bit ahead of myself, the first night went fairly well, we moved all of the boxes and furniture in and then I just zoned. Mom went and got pizza and Dad tried to get keys made that would work (they didn’t) and then we just basically watched TV and talked about a game plan. Mom was awesome and had my bed made in no time, and she cooked the pizza. Dad was my hero coming up and getting me and moving in some incredibly heavy items (books are heavy, just so you know).

After they left it was all me and Yuka. Yuka was –shockingly—more freaked out than I was. I felt so bad for her that I nearly wanted to cry. It didn’t help that I had my picture of Haille staring at me from the mantle on the fireplace. If there’s one person I’m “homesick” for it’s that little goon. I love her and it still kills me that I won’t be right there anymore to see her grow up. I still think her mom should move down here. LOL

Sleep came easier than I thought it would, but I was exhausted. Having not slept well the last couple of nights due to stress/packing, I pretty much passed out in my new room. My room is pretty great for what it is (a bedroom for one) the furniture is a little off, for me, but it’s free so I can’t complain too much. I can look out on the river from my bed, and I have had to pee so much more since living here. That’s the power of running water I suppose. The couple of complaints I have is that my room gets SO HOT at night (have to keep the temp in the house at 70 per the rules) and my downstairs neighbors are LOUD (and smokers) so I can’t open my bedroom window. I tried it the other night and it just doesn’t work. Sucks.

Sunday I basically did nothing all day, just slept and then set up a few little things in the living room, but for the most part I didn’t want to do anything. I was still feeling incredibly uneasy about the whole thing and kept asking God “what was I thinking? I’m not ready for this!” but He just let me vent. I did have a couple of meltdowns, and then I hit a turning point. I don’t remember what made me change my mind, maybe it was when my parents got here and we started moving things around. Duane came over Sunday night, too, and we watched the NFL channel and had a good time.

Monday was the get your rear in gear and get moved in. Mom and I broke down quite a few boxes worth of stuff and it was really feeling like home, which was great. We got all of my books in the bookcase (okay, well, MOM got all of that stuff up) and we moved my camera equipment into my spare room (I have a room that is for rent, if anyone is interested. Rent is $600 a month and that includes internet, phone, all utilities, cable tv, snow removal, etc. You’d be renting a room and have complete use of the kitchen, bathrooms, etc. But I’d have full use of the spare room). Then we went shopping at Fred Meyer’s and picked up a few essentials. It was feeling really homey and I was so thankful for all the help. My mom enjoys this kind of stuff, but at the same time she took a lot of time out of her schedule to do all of this for me and I really appreciate it. The company was great, but so was the work she did. Even if she did argue with my dresser for about a half hour trying to figure out where the drawers went.

Tuesday I started work over at AlaskaUSA’s Soldotna branch. Come to find out one of my childhood friends had moved back and is working there, too. That was a neat surprise. All last week while my mom was at the house finishing up the decorations for Christmas and moving my stuff in, I was in training at the branch. I’ve pretty much hit overload when it comes to the training, it’s a lot of reading and computer tests and what not, but I feel like I’m fitting in.

Once mom and I got my stuffed moved in – especially my books and my DVDs – the house started to feel more like it was mine. That it’s home. Yuka has settled in, and we’re doing pretty well. I’m a “big girl” now and it’s actually feeling pretty cool. Still, I’m stressed out with the rent issue – I need a roommate –and there are things about my job that bum me out. Sure the fact that I don’t normally get two days off in a row means I get more money to compensate for it, but I do enjoy having two days strung together to do things. It will make getting up to Anchorage that much harder. I’ll figure it out, though.

The other thing that became a huge snag was the internet. I am now looking at a phone bill that’s close to 140 a month. Why? Because ACS (and really all companies) stick it to the Peninsula. I live not even a minute away from the phone company and they couldn’t even guarantee I can get the internet, explain that to me? I had to get a phone-long distance-internet package, there’s no other option. It’s insane, but it’s something I needed, and they knew it. So very frustrating; top it off, they don’t carry modems there at the store down here, so I had to wait for one to be mailed to me. It’s just stupid.

Christmas is in Anchorage and I thankfully got Christmas Eve off (it just made it easier for my training I guess to give me Friday off). Going to be weird going back to Judy’s, and I have a feeling Yuka’s going to be REALLY confused, but I’m excited. Though, really, it’s going to stink because I don’t have gifts for anyone, and the small things that I do have are cheap little gifts from Disney. I might have to brave the stores on Friday in Anchorage and pick up a few things, depending on what the fundage looks like at this point. I don’t know when my first paycheck is being deposited. I think it’s Friday, but I am not sure.

On Friday of last week we did our traditional family picture. It wasn’t as painful as it could be, and we used my fireplace for our background. Poor mom has a horrible head cold, though, so she looks a little stuffed up, but we had a lot of fun doing it, actually. I also shot a few pictures of a friend of my parents’ and then after he left Duane wanted pictures of just him and me, so I let my dad try his hand at shooting. He did okay; we actually have a couple that I really like. I still can’t get over how Duane will be sixteen next month. It’s just crazy.

Other than that not much is going on. I will be sharing photos on my photography blog from the Christmas photo shoots soon. As you can imagine, with all of the time away from the internet I am completely backed up from all that I normally do on here. Going to have to play catch up for a week or so! Thankfully I’m able to check email from my parents’ house and work, but other than that I haven’t done much but read facebook and golden skate forums on my phone, which is incredibly limiting.

Well, I’m starting to wig out because I’m tired. It’s not even 9:30 but work is just making me braindead. I think it took me two hours to just type this all up! Insanity! Hope you all have a very merry Christmas!