New Year, New Outlook

Well, so much for blogging in 2013. If you followed me on facebook you know it was, overall, a horrible year. I can definitely say that depression followed me around and I know I not only annoyed people but pushed them away. I may have had time to post (a lot) on facebook, but I had no desire to blog about anything.

Disney World with Mom and Dad was a blast - though October was horribly humid. I've decided I'm sticking to November as my favorite time to go. The crowds were awful as well. But we made do and mom and dad are still talking about all the fun they had. I could blog about it all... but I think this blog just needs to start over. In the coming days I hope to get motivated to get to changing a few things.

Really the year was rather lackluster - though there were some highlights. Meeting friends and reuniting with old ones. However it seems that it was more bad than good when talking about highs and lows. I pray that 2014 will be better.

Which leads to the New Outlook. I want to get off my duff and really buckle down and make life goals and decisions and work towards them instead of being so ambivalent about the whole thing. We'll see how that goes.

For January I want to downsize some of the things I really don't ever use (VHS tapes are the first thing to go, followed by books that I no longer read/need to hold onto). I'm going to do month by month. It makes it a better goal making thing for me.

These are not resolutions, btw. I don't believe in doing those.

Also on the Horizon is the Dorktwins 30th birthday trip to Disneyland! Erin's husband is coming along and I invited my friend from Buffalo, Aimee to come as she has the same bdate as Erin. It's going to be a blast and I'm already doing more planning on it than I really need to so soon. But I can't help myself.

This is the last year of my 20s (turning 29 this month!), I want to enter my 30s on a positive note!

Saturday! Saturday!

I've been silent on my blog lately as I've been packing and working hard to get ready for a move to the Kenai Peninsula. I'm moving to a house I leased on the Kenai River in Soldotna this saturday. I've been stressing out about money and the fact that I do not have a job (still am freaking out about that) but over all I'm pretty excited for the next chapter.

This move is not coming without a lot of regret. I hate that I'm leaving Haille Rae. I know, I know, she's a little kid and she'll survive and I know I have to do this move for me. But i love that little girl. She is very much an important part of my life and the fact that I won't get to see her often just kills me. I've spent many hours crying over this one issue. Over thanksgiving it just broke my heart. All during dinner she was my little buddy. Wouldn't go anywhere or do anything without me, and then when she spent the night she gave me the out of the blue "I love you" moment. Taking her to the movies and having those moments with her were a joy but telling her that I was leaving was hard. I had Judy do it because I just couldn't get out the words (I'm crying about it right now). Haille was fine with it, but honestly I don't think she understands. I won't have a chance to see her before I leave, and that makes the hurt come back full on, but at the same time I honestly don't know how I'd be able to say goodbye.

I'll miss the people at ABT, too. Granted I wasn't full on outgoing or anything, or very active, but I met a lot of wonderful people there - especially the kids I taught. It bums me out that I won't get to see them grow and mature over the years, but I do have facebook and am friends with many of the parents, so I can watch them through that, it's not the same though.

I'll miss being able to order take out from just about any type of restaraunt. I'll miss the no tax, and everything being cheaper...

I'll miss my aunt. We don't always agree, or get along, but we've had a great time together - or at least I have. I know she wants out of here in the worst way, now, but we shared some great memories. She's so happy to have my room back as hers, though, so I guess it's for the best. But wow, I'll miss her.

So I guess I should get back to packing.