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Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Saturday! Saturday!

I've been silent on my blog lately as I've been packing and working hard to get ready for a move to the Kenai Peninsula. I'm moving to a house I leased on the Kenai River in Soldotna this saturday. I've been stressing out about money and the fact that I do not have a job (still am freaking out about that) but over all I'm pretty excited for the next chapter.

This move is not coming without a lot of regret. I hate that I'm leaving Haille Rae. I know, I know, she's a little kid and she'll survive and I know I have to do this move for me. But i love that little girl. She is very much an important part of my life and the fact that I won't get to see her often just kills me. I've spent many hours crying over this one issue. Over thanksgiving it just broke my heart. All during dinner she was my little buddy. Wouldn't go anywhere or do anything without me, and then when she spent the night she gave me the out of the blue "I love you" moment. Taking her to the movies and having those moments with her were a joy but telling her that I was leaving was hard. I had Judy do it because I just couldn't get out the words (I'm crying about it right now). Haille was fine with it, but honestly I don't think she understands. I won't have a chance to see her before I leave, and that makes the hurt come back full on, but at the same time I honestly don't know how I'd be able to say goodbye.

I'll miss the people at ABT, too. Granted I wasn't full on outgoing or anything, or very active, but I met a lot of wonderful people there - especially the kids I taught. It bums me out that I won't get to see them grow and mature over the years, but I do have facebook and am friends with many of the parents, so I can watch them through that, it's not the same though.

I'll miss being able to order take out from just about any type of restaraunt. I'll miss the no tax, and everything being cheaper...

I'll miss my aunt. We don't always agree, or get along, but we've had a great time together - or at least I have. I know she wants out of here in the worst way, now, but we shared some great memories. She's so happy to have my room back as hers, though, so I guess it's for the best. But wow, I'll miss her.

So I guess I should get back to packing.

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