What are you afraid of?

I've struggled with this fear for most of my life - the fear of failure. I hate feeling like I've let someone down. Be it teachers, my family, myself, my boss... doesn't matter. It can be paralyzing at times. Even when I know that I'm good at whatever task is set in front of me, sometimes fear of failure overtakes me and it becomes a destructive pattern.

It's my greatest curse, I've yet to overcome it. If anyone at all has any idea how to magically erase this fear I would gladly learn the secret.

That's all I've got. It's the 4th of July, 72 days till Disneyland... and after a great afternoon of festivities I'm pooped. It was a great day and I'll hopefully have a few photos up later today from the parade. I walked home afterwards as Treat Street was packed and I wasn't handling the crowds or heat well (yes I realize I'm a walking contradiction considering I'd suck it up for Disney).

You know I'm lazy when I'm watching Thor (which I really don't like) and won't change the channel - not because I want to watch the movie, but just because I don't want to spend time finding something else (or turning on Netflix). Yup. Lazy. But at least I get to giggle at how weird it is to see Josh Dallas play a character that's NOT Prince Charming. Ha ha! Oh, my.

30 Days of OUAT - Day 14: Favorite Costume

Day 14: Favorite Costume

This seems a little redundant since we just had best dressed and I fangirled on Neal Cassidy's style. So it might come as a surprise that I didn't pick one of his (seriously, I'd just be repeating myself as to which outfit I liked best on him). My honorable mention was Prince Charming - for the most part he's a spiffy dresser (I really hate when he's in his furs, though, it just looks dumb). I do like his every day travel wear that he had for most of season 1 in the EF... but my favorite is definitely the princely dress suit(?) that Rumple gives him in the season 1 finale when he goes to find and rescue his beloved Snow.

We see him in it, of course, in the very first scene of the pilot episode. He makes quite the statement in it. It's the perfect Prince Charming look. You know instantly who he's supposed to be. David is a fan of the cape, and I have to say I am too. It suits him well. (Sorry Edna Mode, capes make the man in the EF.)

And, once again, can I just say that Josh Dallas is the perfect Prince Charming? I cannot for the life of me think of any actor (either on OUAT or elsewhere) that could play this part better. Sure he sometimes takes the lines he says too seriously, but that adds to the charm (see what I did there) of Charming/David Nolan. Plus, he's freaking hot.



Prince Charming gets his Cinderella Moment... Rumple's a fan of true love? Who wouldn't be while looking into Josh Dallas' eyes. (Yeah, I went there, I'm SO superficial I hate myself ha ha.)

30 days of OUAT - Day 6: Favorite Romantic Moment

I'm finally over the worst of whatever bug I had. I actually have most of my voice today - though I took advantage of that and talked too much and now I'm hoarse again. But it's a start. I've been rewatching a lot of Once and other tv shows while being laid up. And this weekend I had the house to myself and so I took full advantage of having the living room tv and watched everything on Hulu. Which meant a lot of re-grieving over the loss of Baelfire/Neal. It's pathetic, I know, as it's *just* a tv show, but I'm hooked on the story of Nealfire... and I am bumming hard that Michael Raymond-James is not going to be on my tv every week any time soon (though I did love the tragic scene they gave us of Neal this weekend).

Day 6 - Favorite Romantic Moment

I don't find a lot of the characters to be all that romantic. I don't buy into the whole CaptainSwan thing - though when Hook first came into the picture I thought it would be an interesting twist. Then Season 3 happened with Neal fighting for Henry and I no longer wanted Emma with anyone (that includes Neal). I don't find either Hook or Neal all that romantic, though they try, they're adorable and they have their moments but nothing really screams "romance" to me (I'm one of the few Nealfire fans that doesn't find much of anything to enjoy about the episode Tallahassee. I know, I'm weird).

I'm also not a fan of the whole "Rumbelle" couple. There's just way too much creepy about it. I love the twist on Beauty & the Beast/Rumpelstiltskin, don't get me wrong... but it's still just... creepy. It could be that he's scaly in some of the scenes, but mainly it's the whole "she's younger than your son" thing that really gets me. (This is becoming one of the reasons that I don't like the Hook and Emma thing, yes physically he is close in age... but he once played father to the tween who would become the father of Emma's child. Not to mention that he was once "married" to Henry's grandmother!) I don't find Rumpel all that romantic, though he is nostalgic/sentimental. And Belle is just all over the map for me. (And I'm still mad at her for not fighting harder to save Neal, basically because she wanted her loverboy back. Grrr.)

Phillip and Aurora could have some very romantic moments if they'd let us see them more often (they are my favorite fairytale couple most times, just not when it's Once Upon A Time). Regina and Robin Hood are quickly becoming a great couple, but I'm not seeing much romance - well, except when she gives him her heart... and then this past weekend's scene where Robin tells her to share his (which then mirrors a scene of "Snowing" later in the episode).

But if there is one couple that screams not just TRUE LOVE but romantic, to me anyway, it's definitely Snow White and Prince Charming. They have so many great romantic moments and I've come up with one that is at least in my top 3 moments, if not the best one. I love that Charming is a picture of sacrifice - for the greater good, love, family. This scene is one from Season 1 episode 16. In the episode Snow White has taken one of Rumpel's potions that helps her forget Charming (she made a deal with King George to spare Charming's life by promising to tell Charming she didn't love him/couldn't marry him. To cure her broken heart, she takes the potion to forget him).

Charming spends a lot of time trying to convince her (after finding her once again - after all, he will ALWAYS find her) that she once loved him. She tells him words mean nothing, she wants action/proof. Later we see Snow getting ready to kill the Queen (the memory potion apparently turns Snow into a caring person into a cold hearted/jaded woman), and just as she shoots the arrow someone jumps in front and is the one hit by the arrow.

This is where I find the romance. It seems odd, probably, but as Snow White begins to freak out on him for ruining her chance to kill the queen Charming confesses that he loves her and that she once loved him. That he was going to prove to her that he loved her. That he would die for her so that her heart would not turn dark. This surprises our memory loss friend, and she looks at the prince in a "new" light. After searching his face, she gives him a kiss and suddenly her memory's back and the duo is truly reunited.



I don't know if it's just because I love Kevin Costner's Robin Hood film with the whole "I'd die for you" theme that is the reason I LOVE this scene... or if I'm just a sucker for that kind of theme in general. I just absolutely love this scene and I've watched it a dozen or so times just tonight as I was trying to decide which scene to choose.

And while I'm at it, can I just say that Josh Dallas is perfect as Prince Charming. They could not have found a better actor for the role. And he does dying/injured really really well. I mean we see him sacrifice himself a lot (probably why I was kinda thinking that David would be the one to die in Quiet Minds instead of Neal... even though I KNEW in my heart it'd be Neal that died). Josh is just incredibly convincing. It's those eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes.

It's no wonder Ginny fell for him. Ha ha. That just makes this couple even sweeter! It's "real life"!

I have to do one honorable mention. It's from the newest Once episode (3x19). And, yes, it's once again Snowing having a tragically romantic storyline. We found out this week that it was Snow White who cast the dark curse that brought the crew back to Storybrooke. They found out they need Emma to defeat the Wicked Witch, and the only way to get back to the land without magic was to recast the curse. In order to do that, the spell caster has to give up the heart of the one she loves most. Charming tells Snow that she needs to cast the spell at all costs, and offers up his heart. After a bit of discussion he convinces her. Regina takes his heart and gives it to Snow - who crushes it! I will admit I cried. Seriously season 3 sucks! ha ha! It's been nothing but sadness all the way through!



Season 3b definitely has a great storyline going, but I dislike how dark this whole season has been. And, I'm seriously never going to be able to get over it at the rate this is going. I have friends making fun of me on how personal I'm taking some of this stuff. Especially since Charming basically gets to cheat death with the whole splitting/sharing of Snow's heart. It's a beautiful picture and all, but dang it! If they could figure out a way to keep him alive they should've also used a loophole to save Neal (see how I keep going back to that. I really need help)!

I can't believe it's 1am already. I have been on a weird sleep schedule since being sick all last week. Slept so much that my body can't seem to shutdown at night these days. Ugh. I'll do another blog post tomorrow night (well, tonight, now) I need to catch up anyway.

30 Days of OUAT - Day 3: Favorite Fairytale Male Character

 Day 3 - Favorite Fairytale Male Character

This was hard because I love so many of the male characters in this series. Each have a tragic tale that I easily buy into. And most of them are Dads, and being a Daddy's Girl, that's the easiest way to get me to connect to the character. Plus most of them are fairly attractive. Makes it easy to get obsessed with a lot of them.

But none really grabs my attention like Charming. It's partially Josh Dallas's good looks and deep voice, but mainly it's the story. From his finding out he has a twin brother, to his psychotic "adoptive father", to his courting of Snow White... and of course his giving up his child to give her "her best chance." The scene where he puts his daughter in the wardrobe before he "dies" in the pilot has always been one of my favorite scenes. It's so tragic and yet hopeful.

Charming is the ultimate "good guy". He is always on the path of right/justice. It's what gets him into trouble with his "father" King George, and ultimately what wins Snow White's heart. He's just an all around good guy that you don't mind bringing home to meet the parents. I prefer Charming to David in Storybrooke by miles! Not that I don't think David's flaws make him more realistic, I just think Charming does a whole lot better and is more comfortable in the Enchanted Forest.