Saturday, January 8, 2011

Frustrations creeping up...

I had a meltdown last night. Dad picked me up around 8 to go look at a car to replace the Duck Truck. Yes, that's right, the Ford Ranger was considered totalled by the insurance company. I'm still upset about it. That truck was an awesome vehicle. I miss it. Anyway dad found a couple of cars on Craigslist after getting caught by a scammer with a Ford Escape. Hopefully my parents are saved from any true fraud. No money had exchanged hands anyway.

So off we went to check out this Monte Carlo. The one thing I told mom was that I did not want a low to the ground vehicle. This was not understood or relayed to my dad. So I was incredibly disappointed to see how short/small the car was. I took one look at it and thought "oh heck no." Dad was pretty happy with it, but if I can't see over a snowberm I don't want it. I was very adament about that.

I was in a bad mood because work is also not going well. I just feel absolutely stupid every night as I've keyed something wrong just about everynight and everyone stands around waiting for me to finish or - worse - realizes I've made a mistake so they go tell everyone it's going to take a while.

So after I told dad I did not want the car and we had a heated discussion about the car I was going to be seeing on Sunday (about the same size but a buick which always translates into an old fogie car, to me, as well as a boat of a car at that) and I just lost it. I'm just tired of all the crap. If things don't start looking up I'm going to go insane. Thanks to taxes I am not making enough to afford rent, gas and food... I can have two of the three. I still have NO roommate prospects as I'm stuck advertising only through churches because my parents are worried some crazy person is going to come in otherwise...


So I cried in dad's truck while we got gas and then really lost it when it pulled into my driveway. I was just TIRED of it all. I didn't want to be angry at dad - it's not his fault I've screwed this whole thing up by biting off more than I could ever possibly chew - and I didn't want to cry. Dad put his arm around my shoulders and I lost it. So then he sent me inside and parked the truck and came in. I think he was afraid I'd hurt myself LOL. We watched a bit of tv, dad started to fall asleep so I sent him home... besides I still had to work today so I needed to go to bed...

which I didn't get to sleep until 11... and even then it wasn't very fitful, so today I was in a fog.

I came home at lunch to good news. Judy and Gaylord had found a Ford Explorer in my price range and had purchased it. It's a bit older than the Ranger was... but they're convinced it is a good find... so I'm hopeful. Not the dream car, but I will get a Ford Escape someday. That's the dream.

If I survive this nightmare first. Oy.

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